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So my parents got divorced four years ago and ever since then I haven't really been the same my group of friends left me and I had no one. I started in middle school and I was so alone and isolated my guidance councilor became my best friend. I felt so abandoned until I met Julianna. She made me so happy but I just didn't know how to tell her how much pain I was constantly in. I struggled with depression and sleep anxiety and nothing was getting better every day. But one night I told her everything and it turned out she was depressed too. Suddenly she made our pain a competition and told me I didn't know what real pain was and she started changing and wearing makeup and hanging out with more popular people. She slowly started to come back to me and we were fine. Until she tried to commit suicide. She overdosed on her moms Zoloft pills and I was so broken. I ran to the hospital to go see and the next day I stayed home from school. I have always had mild suicid thoughts but that night I wanted to jump out my window, but I just couldn't do it. We both got therapists and around last Thursday I was talking to her about how upset I was and how terrible I felt and she ignored my messages. I started panicking then and kept texting her and asking her what I did wrong but she never answered. Then she blocked my number and I was absolutely crushed and still am. It hasn't even been a week yet and I can't this. I know she needs space and me texting her about my emotions may be too much for her to handle but what about me? I can't just sit and watch her leave me. I was crying in the hallway and she just stared at me and walked away. I just don't know what to do please help!
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Thank you for reaching out to 2NDFLOOR. First, I must say that if you are having thoughts of suicide or want to harm yourself please call 911 or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at (800) 273-8255 right away!! Someone can help you immediately. It's also important to tell an adult that you feel comfortable talking to that you are struggling with depression. This is not something that you can do on your own. Have you tried talking to your parents? If you don't feel comfortable talking to them talk to your guidance counselor, you mentioned you confided in them before. You need to talk about your feelings of depression so that you are able to learn how to cope with it in a healthy way. You are not alone. There are professionals that want to help and that can help so please reach out to someone today.
Now I know you are sad about your friend right now, but first things first, you have to take care of your own emotional health. It sounds like that is what your friend is trying to do as well. I know it may seem personal and hurtful but she has to get better emotionally and talking about depression is not good for her, especially if she just came home from the hospital. All you can do is respect your friends space and focus on reaching out for help for you right now!!
If you need more help give 2NDFLOOR a call at 888-222-2228, we are here 24/7 or text us daily 4-8PM.
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