Tweet
Me and my best friend are now worst enemies. We got into an argument about me self harming. The conversation ending when he said I do it for attention. We haven't spoken in weeks. I miss him. I love him he's my best friend but he doesn't care for me anymore. I'm so messed up. I think terrible thoughts and I try and end the pain by listening to music or cutting. I tried everything but nothing works. I tied taking my mind of off the situation but it doesn't work. I consulted my counselor who said to come to her when I feel like hurting myself. My old best friend just glares at me now. He doesn't even say anything to me anymore. I'm so lost and my depression is getting to me. I'm afraid to ask for help. I cry so much. Nothing works anymore. I cut because I'm not happy anymore. I'm afraid to be happy and I'm scared. All the advice in this world can't help me but I was hoping 2nd floor would be able to help. Every day is a living hell for me. My friends are so worried about me. When I told them I cut they cried. They are the only reason I'm not dead. They are the only thing that keeps me alive. They say I need to help myself before I damage myself permanantly. Can you please help me? I want to know is it wrong that nothing makes me happy anymore? I feel so alone... I'm always afraid I'm a bother to my friends when I call them. Help me please... I need it now more then ever.
-
-
First, thank you so much for reaching out to us at 2NDFLOOR. It sounds like you are going through a really difficult time right now, and it takes a lot of strength to be able to reach out to us and ask for help...that is half the battle. It is also good to hear that you have a current counselor that you can turn to for guidance when you are feeling upset. In addition to your counselor, it sounds like you do have a great support group of friends that is willing to help and sincerely cares about your well being (hence them getting upset over your cutting and their stated desire for you to get better). While it seems like you may have ended a friendship with someone who you considered very close to you and a big form of support, it seems like you do have a lot of other support available to you. During your times of need, it is okay to lean on these people to try and help you sort your feelings. Remember these people actively want to help you, so it is not a bother to them at all!
As far as sorting your feelings, unfortunately there is no easy fix. But from your post, it does seem like you have a desire to want to get better. That desire is a huge positive force that will help aid you in dealing with your depression and cutting. There are also a lot of alternative methods that you can try to use when you feel yourself getting upset. These methods include journalism, art, exercising, taking walks, indulging in a new or existing hobby, and more. The idea behind these methods is to give yourself an alternative way to express your feelings without just harming yourself. If these options don't seem appealing, feel free to talk with your counselor about other options they may know. There are also resources available online, such as www.selfmutilatorsanonymous.org or self-injury.net. Both of these websites offer message boards and online meetings where you can talk to others that are also dealing with self-harm.
If you wish to talk more about this or any other topic please feel free to call 2NDFLOOR 24/7 at 1-888-222-2228.
Comment