I Need To Filter Myself

[Unregistered]

I don't have a lot of friends (only around 5) and I feel like I can't trust any of them. I've been close to all of them but they either won't listen or won't understand. One of them was saying mean things about another one, and I told her. They don't know each other personally so I was more comfortable sharing things about the one saying the mean things. A few days ago, she asked for proof (screen shots of the message) I didn't know what she was planning so I sent her them even though I didn't want to. A minute later I get a message from another girl we know and she's asking me what the other girl's problem is because she said mean stuff about her too. I feel really betrayed. When I asked why she told her, she kept repeating that "she deserved to know" I told her I felt like I couldn't trust her anymore, like she told her everything I'd ever said. She sent me a log of their messages since the last day and in those messages she called my other best friend who'd said the mean things a "fat ass b*tch" and told secrets about that friend and I started crying. I don't like how people say they're against bullying and do it anyway. It's not fair.

One of my friends has been grounded for the last week for saying something inappropriate and now her parents are reading her messages. We have a bit of a complicated relationship, she's younger than me (1.5 years. I'm only 13 and it's not as weird as it sounds.. Dx) and we do like each other but she says I say a lot of inappropriate stuff and she doesn't want to have to delete her messages every time I do. I can't really control what I say. I'm very likely to say what I'm thinking in a text situation, I do not talk much at all in real life.

How can I stop saying things I shouldn't? I read that isolation is bad for my depression but I really don't want to talk to people anymore, I feel like everything I tell them either goes over their heads or to someone else. How can I trust people again? I'm an overly open person because I get overwhelmed by emotions quickly and easily if I don't share what I'm feeling..

[2NDFLOOR]

Talking about people negatively with others is never a good idea as you are finding out. It hurts people's feelings and often leads to lost friendships. Getting in between two friends fighting is also a pretty bad idea, in the future try to say something like, "I like you both and I won't take sides in your fight" the next time someone asks you to send them something about another person. You can control what you say, unlike what you wrote, it just takes a lot of practice and catching yourself doing it. You don't have to isolate, but to catch yourself, only speak about people when they are there. That will make you censor yourself. If the conversation you are in drifts off to discuss someone who isn't there, just excuse yourself from the discussion or don't join in talking about the person. Call us anytime at 888-222-2228.