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This past summer my best friend moved all the way across the world from me. I always knew she had it tough at home and she has been through some tragic experiences. Her mom is very very skinny. She doesn't perceive my friend as beautiful since she has huge boobs and is on the shorter side. She makes my friend feel horrible about herself. My friend is so concerned about her weight that it scares me. Although it is hard to communicate with her, she still asks me for advice and how I'm so skinny and rants about how she isn't perfect. She is not overweight at all! She is super fit and healthy but she believes all of the things her mom says to her. After moving she wants to come back home and feels very depressed. She hates school since she feels out of place. She says that "everyone is so skinny" meanwhile she doesn't realize she also is. My heart breaks for her and I don't know how to make her believe she really is beautiful. I tell her all the time but she thinks I'm just trying to make her feel better. What can I say to her to boost her self esteem? I really care for her and want her to be happy. She's my best friend and I miss explaining things in person to her. What could she say to her mom? Or should she say anything at all to her?
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It sounds like you are a great friend to have! It does sound like there is a lot going on with your friend's self-esteem and how she views her body image. Again it is great that you can try to talk her out of some of her emotional turmoil, but you have to remember that there is only so much you can do. How a person sees their own body is completely personal and something that she has to internally start to deal with what is really making her so unhappy. It would benefit her greatly to get professional counseling. Maybe you could encourage her to talk to her mom or even go to the guidance counselor at her school for help. Here are two resources that you might find informative and that you can even pass on to your friend; Something Fishy @ http://www.something-fishy.org/ or call 866-690-7239 & National Eating Disorder Association @ www.nationaleatingdisorders.org. I hope they help you both and you can always call 2NDFLOOR to talk at anytime at 888-222-2228, we are here 24/7.
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