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I have been told be a leader than a follower but I allows find myself being a follower. Back in my old elementary school, I used to have a good friend I would hang out with. Thing went south during my 5 grade when she introduced her friend I have never known before. After that we completely stopped hanging out and I started to become
more jealous (I felt bad for even being jealous).
When I transferred to a new school I ended up being in a friend group with three girls. Stupidly enough, I ended up breaking my friendship with a really nice girl just to be with the other girls. When I saw that friendship was not going to last, I became friends with a couple of other girls.
Surprisingly enough, we maintained a good friendship. The problem was that I felt excluded to the point I couldn’t talk to them and was nervous to ask to hang out. I would also grow jealous if they all hung out and I never was invited. They were really nice girls who liked me and I also liked them, but I don’t think I expressed my feeling to them enough then I should’ve. This year now that I am in 11th grade, my friendship with them somewhat ended.
Now I’m trying to hang with a group of girls who are my friends, but it’s difficult for me to ask them if all know each other better then I could. Especially this one girl who is friends with all of them and I don’t think she likes me. They all have group chats with each other, they hang out in far places, and over all have a good life. I’ve grown jealous of that and it make me feel bad that I am. I have no right to be mad or jealous at them because I feel some of them like me. There’s even this one friend who is open to hear my problems, but I don’t wanna tell her my problems every day that’s not fair to her.
I know it’s my fault that I exclude myself from them, and I’m self aware I could be the problem. This had resorted into sometime cutting myself and sometimes drinking. I’ve talked about my depression to my parents just yesterday and there looking for a therapist at the moment. In the meantime I need advice on my problems cause im afraid my personal problems will have a affect on my grade.
more jealous (I felt bad for even being jealous).
When I transferred to a new school I ended up being in a friend group with three girls. Stupidly enough, I ended up breaking my friendship with a really nice girl just to be with the other girls. When I saw that friendship was not going to last, I became friends with a couple of other girls.
Surprisingly enough, we maintained a good friendship. The problem was that I felt excluded to the point I couldn’t talk to them and was nervous to ask to hang out. I would also grow jealous if they all hung out and I never was invited. They were really nice girls who liked me and I also liked them, but I don’t think I expressed my feeling to them enough then I should’ve. This year now that I am in 11th grade, my friendship with them somewhat ended.
Now I’m trying to hang with a group of girls who are my friends, but it’s difficult for me to ask them if all know each other better then I could. Especially this one girl who is friends with all of them and I don’t think she likes me. They all have group chats with each other, they hang out in far places, and over all have a good life. I’ve grown jealous of that and it make me feel bad that I am. I have no right to be mad or jealous at them because I feel some of them like me. There’s even this one friend who is open to hear my problems, but I don’t wanna tell her my problems every day that’s not fair to her.
I know it’s my fault that I exclude myself from them, and I’m self aware I could be the problem. This had resorted into sometime cutting myself and sometimes drinking. I’ve talked about my depression to my parents just yesterday and there looking for a therapist at the moment. In the meantime I need advice on my problems cause im afraid my personal problems will have a affect on my grade.
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