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(Sorry if this is a bit lengthy. I’m just really ticked off right now) First off, i’m going to begin with basic info. I’m currently 13, 14 in a few months. I’m also trans (closeted) and
hispanic/latino, if that changed anything. I would also like to mention that i will be taking geometry the coming school year (10th grade work in 8th grade) and i constantly get high grades. I’ve gotten awards for being a good student. Many say i’m hard working i guess. I help out with my family willingly.
Here’s the problem, i have no freedom. I’m not allowed to go out at all. No going to friend’s houses, no going out for a quick stroll, no movies, no malls, nothing. I feel like i’m in a prisoner of my own home. I’ve discussed this with my mom recently and she said it’s because she doesn’t trust me. I’m not a bad kid. She just thinks i am because i’m “too serious”, antisocial and I would defend myself (just putting arms up) when she/my dad would beat me (doesn’t happen any more very often.) I personally find it to be ironic that she says i’m antisocial and too serious, when i’m not allowed to have fun. Technically, i’m not even supposed to have friends from school. Where else will i make friends? Online? Not allowed. Yeah.
Not to mention, i’m not allowed to express myself. Recently, they found out that i did art. They forced me to quit and ripped and threw out my art. I’m also not allowed to have interests, because they distract me from my work? They deleted games off my phone and don’t let me watch things in YT that isn’t related to religion. Quick reminder, I’m a trans guy. They don’t know. And i’m afraid that i will be kicked out or worse if they found out. I’m forced to keep long hair and my parents decide what happens to it. I cant cut it on my own because i’ll be physically punished. I’m not allowed to have a say in the clothes i wear. They will offer me clothes and if i dont like exactly what they want me to like, they will refuse to buy me clothes, shoes, ect. They once told me they would throw away all of my clothes and shoes. They did with half my clothes and all but one pairs of shoes. Half of my clothes don’t fit me. I barely have wearable clothes. We’re not poot either. I’m not allowed to order stuff online either.
Kinda going off track here but a while ago, they looked through a vent book of mine and found out i USED to be suicidal. Instead of getting me proper help like my brother had suggested, they told other family members and belittled me. Beat me. Scolded me. SHAMED me for having emotions. They believed i was a demon worshipper and that i was possessed by Satan himself. They ignored those cries for help.
I just think that they are a bit too controlling with what i can and can’t do, considering my age and my high achieving grades. Especially when i know many people younger than me and constantly rebel who are allowed to do whatever they want to. Slightly relevant but when my brother was my age, he was allowed to do whatever i can’t right now.
hispanic/latino, if that changed anything. I would also like to mention that i will be taking geometry the coming school year (10th grade work in 8th grade) and i constantly get high grades. I’ve gotten awards for being a good student. Many say i’m hard working i guess. I help out with my family willingly.
Here’s the problem, i have no freedom. I’m not allowed to go out at all. No going to friend’s houses, no going out for a quick stroll, no movies, no malls, nothing. I feel like i’m in a prisoner of my own home. I’ve discussed this with my mom recently and she said it’s because she doesn’t trust me. I’m not a bad kid. She just thinks i am because i’m “too serious”, antisocial and I would defend myself (just putting arms up) when she/my dad would beat me (doesn’t happen any more very often.) I personally find it to be ironic that she says i’m antisocial and too serious, when i’m not allowed to have fun. Technically, i’m not even supposed to have friends from school. Where else will i make friends? Online? Not allowed. Yeah.
Not to mention, i’m not allowed to express myself. Recently, they found out that i did art. They forced me to quit and ripped and threw out my art. I’m also not allowed to have interests, because they distract me from my work? They deleted games off my phone and don’t let me watch things in YT that isn’t related to religion. Quick reminder, I’m a trans guy. They don’t know. And i’m afraid that i will be kicked out or worse if they found out. I’m forced to keep long hair and my parents decide what happens to it. I cant cut it on my own because i’ll be physically punished. I’m not allowed to have a say in the clothes i wear. They will offer me clothes and if i dont like exactly what they want me to like, they will refuse to buy me clothes, shoes, ect. They once told me they would throw away all of my clothes and shoes. They did with half my clothes and all but one pairs of shoes. Half of my clothes don’t fit me. I barely have wearable clothes. We’re not poot either. I’m not allowed to order stuff online either.
Kinda going off track here but a while ago, they looked through a vent book of mine and found out i USED to be suicidal. Instead of getting me proper help like my brother had suggested, they told other family members and belittled me. Beat me. Scolded me. SHAMED me for having emotions. They believed i was a demon worshipper and that i was possessed by Satan himself. They ignored those cries for help.
I just think that they are a bit too controlling with what i can and can’t do, considering my age and my high achieving grades. Especially when i know many people younger than me and constantly rebel who are allowed to do whatever they want to. Slightly relevant but when my brother was my age, he was allowed to do whatever i can’t right now.
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