feeling angry...

[Unregistered]

I feel like everything has totally crumbled in my life...and I really have no idea what to do. My mom wwas sent to prison for 15 years and part of the charge was because of drug distribution but also, child neglect and endangerment. And I am so angry because things happened but it wasn't her fault. She was only trying to help bring some money for us to survive. During the trial process, it's like my voice wasn't heard at all. Now I am living with this family who hates me. They have three kids and all they're doing is making my life worse then ever. They make sure that I hate life there and I leave all the time and bike for hours until late at night to get away from that miserable place...
I miss my mom. I can't see my dad because he's an alcoholic and there's a restraining order out against him. I don't know how to deal with this. I still have three years until I can legally live on my own but this is so hard and I don't feel I can stay here.
I feel like I failed my mom...
it's not fair. I should trade places with her because I am nervous for her and she really is a good person. Nobody believes that...
I'm not sure what to do but it's too hard to live here.
Do you have any advice?

[2NDFLOOR]

It sounds like you have had some rough times and are trying to cope with the circumstances the best way you know how. It’s great that you exercise with the bike that actually is a great coping skill, but it’s not good that you are doing it to avoid where you live. If you are being neglected or feel unsafe in the home you are at right now then call Department of Child Protection and Permanency (877) 652-2873.
I am sorry to hear you feel alone and I can understand that you miss your mother. It’s okay to feel however you want to about your mother, she is your mom and she will always be! Listen people can make mistakes, so don’t feel like you have to justify how you feel about her.
It would be a good idea for you to get some professional counseling to talk about all of this, you have been through a lot. Here is a number for NJ Mental Health Cares @ 866-202-4357 or visit them online @ www.njmentalhealthcares.org. Please don’t hesitate to call 2NDFLOOR at any time to talk at 888-222-2228. We are here 24/7 to help you!