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I kind of have two issues, but they connect back to one problem, so I guess I'll just put them together. To semi shorten a long story, I'm adopted, and I've been aware my entire life. As a little kid, my mother always reassured me that I was part of the family, and I was exactly like the rest of them. But, as of recent years, I've started to feel this isn't true anymore. Where as most of my family loves talking with each other about sports and school and never holds back when fighting, they only talk to me about my home country, the latest adoption statistics, and they always seem to treat me like a fragile child, and always go easy on me when they're upset with me. In addition, whenever they talk about the family tree, or DNA, they actively leave me out of the conversation, since I'm not biologically connected to them. The second problem is that my family has also made some very insensitive comments regarding my ethnicity and adoption in general; playing on racial stereotypes and joking about how adopted kids are unwanted, and its' really been bothering me. I've tried talking to this with my mother (I don't have a father), and she just brushes me aside. I don't know what I'm supposed to do.
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I'm so sorry to hear this. I understand how this must make you feel. Since you tried talking to your mom about your feelings and that didn't work, why don't you try writing her a letter/note about the way you are feeling with specific examples and give it to her. Sometimes expressing your feelings through writing works in a different sort of way. It can be worth a try! Have you ever tried talking to anyone else about this for advice? ....maybe someone not connected to your family like a school counselor? You can also call/text us here at the 2NDFLOOR Youth Helpline to discuss this further. We are here 24/7 at 888-222-2228. Let us know if you tried writing a note to your mom or or if you tried talking to someone and if it helped! We can always try and help you with more ideas...good luck!
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