My mom's boyfriend is manipulative

[Unregistered]

My mom's boyfriend is changing my mom. He tells her what she can and can't wear all the time. My mom used to wear pretty clothes that show off her body because she's not ashamed of it. Ever since they became together, she now covers every inch of her skin. Sometimes, when my mom takes me to shop with her and she'd see something she likes, but she'd say that he might scold her for it. I tell her all the time that she can wear what she wants to wear and what's it to him. The clothes she likes to wear aren't even provocative at all. Another thing is he always has to now where she is. I'd be in a restaurant with her or food shopping and he'd always call to make sure that's he only place my mom is. Sometimes he won't believe her and keep calling even when she's driving. Last spring, they both got iPhones and he'd always facetime her to know where she is. She always has to tell him where she is. Also, he's making her really bad at parenting. On her days off, he'd always have to be with her even though she had already made plans with me. She was supposed to teach me how to drive, but now she's just going to enroll me to a driving school that she heard from him. She even has to make multiple Facebook accounts hidden from him because he always has to kow what she's saying and whom she's talking to. I feel like he's dangerous to her, but I can't tell her that because she'll just come up with an excuse for his shitty personality. Whenever he drives, I feel like I'm about to die. He speeds, he doesn't use signals, he uses his phone, and he turns where he cant. Once, he drove into the wrong lane on a highway with a lot of children in the car. I always want to get out the door and walk home. I don't feel safe. He's also not very family oriented. Whenever he's over, he'd just stay in her room and never come out to talk to any of us. Even when I didn't hate him as much as I do now. Another thing is he has a son who is a freshman in college who doesnt even trust him. He has a girlfriend, but never told him about it because he thinks it's wrong for him o have a girlfriend AT THE AGE OF 19. My mom used to be nice ad understanding, but now she's strict and always gets pissed at me when my mood changes when he's around. I try to avoid him, but at times when I can't, my blood just boils. One other thing is he gets angry when he talks to her friends who he doesn't like and don't like him back. She has to hide that from him. I'm only 17 so what do I know about relationships, but I do know that my relationship with my mom would be better if he wasn't around.

[2NDFLOOR]

It sounds like you really have a great relationship with your mom regardless of her new boyfriend and that’s wonderful. It is very hard to watch someone you love be in an unhealthy relationship. Trust your instincts because they are usually right no matter what age you are and if you say that he could be dangerous to her then he probably can be, but at this point all you can do is be there for your mom. Try to talk to you mom about this by explaining your feelings and how you are worried about her, remember to stick to the facts and not to name call. Maybe even reach out to someone you and your mom both trust to try and talk to your mom about this situation. Perhaps you would really even benefit from going to counseling so you can gain strategies on how to handle the things that are changing in your home environment right now.

Check out this website @ http://www.breakthecycle.org/, it has information about health dating and domestic violence.
Additionally, here is a number to NJ Mental Health Cares at (866) 202-4357 or visit their website www.njmentalhealthcares.org to look for counseling. If you ever want to talk more about this, give 2NFLOOR a call we are here 24-7 @ 888-222-2228.