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Ok so last night was New years eve and the night before I took $20 from my mom. I know that was wrong and that I should've never done that in the first place but, yesterday she texted me and told me I'm not living with her anymore. I do not know where my father is, he hasn't been in my life for the past 14 years. She then tells me to go find him and live with him. And when she's mad she will always say things that hurt me, I've gotten use to them, but she shouldn't be saying stuff life "scum bag" "loser" "mistake". Even at midnight she posted on my Facebook wall "LOSER!!" and other hurtful stuff. And I told her that I was deeply sorry and they I Was going to change for this year, but she told me that I was a mistake and to not come home. Meanwhile I live in new jersey and last night it was about 20 degrees out. This isn't even the start, she's an alcoholic and never participates in my life. She comes home from work and goes on the couch and pours herself a glass of vodka. She even makes me go places with her when she's drunk. She will have me in the car with her while shes drinking and driving. She told me that she is giving up on me and to have a good life. Stealing $20 from your mother is wrong but it is not even close a reason to give up on your own child. I have practically had to raise myself being that I don't have a father to talk to. She use to hit me a lot when I was a child, but she won't hit me anymore. My life consists of me being alone and having no one to talk to ever about stuff life this. There are no close family members who live in my state either. So yeah.
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It sounds like you have been dealing with a very harsh and tough upbringing for a long time. Dealing with a parent who does not show support and provides a verbal and neglectful environment can be a very upseting situation, and you are not alone. You should know that recieving verbal & physical abuse, and being forced to be a passenger while your mom is drinking and driving is not okay It is considered a form of child abuse and is against the law. You should also know that your mother's negative actions towards you and her alcoholism is not your fault. She is choosing to do those things for her own personal reasons. There are services available to help her work through those issues, and she is more than welcome to contact us for those resources.
You indicated that you are alone and you have no one to talk to about your feelings and how you are dealing with all of this. It shows that you have alot of strength that you have been dealing with this for so long, and that you were able to reach out to us to talk about this. There are services available to help you and for you to talk. With all the strong feelings that you have, we strongly reccomend reaching out to someone to talk to, whether it is a therapist, guidance counselor, or trusted adult. There is also service called Alanon, which is a self help group for friends and family that are dealing with alcoholics. They have a website and offer meetings for you to talk about what you are going through, you can check it here: http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/. If you are still under the age of 18, there are also services that are available to protect you as well. The Division of Child Protection and Permanancy (DCPP) formerly called DYFS, is a service that is available to protect children that are in abusive environments. It involves a social worker or DCPP worker coming out and speaking with you and your mom, and possibly removing you from your home if they feel like that environment is unsafe. The DCPP worker would then connect you with resources to assist you and your mom, such as therapists, social workers, foster care, etc.
Ultimately you should know that there are services to help you, and that you are not alone in what you are going through. Unfortunately, many others suffer from abuse due to a family member that is dealing with alcoholism. You can always reach out to us at 2NDFLOOR as well to talk more about this or anything else at 1-888-222-2228.
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