what should i do?

[anonomys]

For the 4th of july, i wanted to see a guy i liked. i am gay and the guy is too. we planned on going to the movies. unfortunately i told my mom about this guy. in an attempt to be quiet about my plan to see him i just told my mom i was going to "see a friend i had met". i did not want to lie to my mom about it since lying or any other immoral act keeps me feeling ashamed and far from GOD. SOMEHOW my mom guessed if it was the gay guy i told her about. i still have not met with this guy yet so far, but we keep in touch online and by other means. i am not angry but annoyed with my mom. she is a great mother and she does what she has to do to provide for me and my sister but she is too rigid and has strict views on life. basically you could say my mom is old fashioned and i am more open-minded. i asked my mom for money so i could go to the movies with my guy but my mom said she would not give me money since she thinks its wrong. then she asked me the big question, "Will you see him?'' I was forced to say "NO". I did not want to worry her and I always follow my heart. anyway, still to this day, i have not seen my guy yet! i don't know how to leave the house without thinking that my mom will get worried. i have not spent time with friends in awhile. its the holidays and i know i need to be having fun,but i still want to see this guy,so he won't feel unhappy that he has not seen me yet.

what should i do? lie to my mom? go behind her back?

she is not the emotional type that you could have an open conversation with. my mom is like the black version of judge judy!
growing up, she was real strict and firm with me and my sister. what do i do? i have not felt happy in a long time, i am a strong person so i keep my faith in GOD.

[2NDFLOOR]

Sounds like you have a very frustrating issue at hand. It is always difficult when what you want is different from what your parents want. It can be very stressful, because you dont want to upset your parents, but you want to be happy and that is understandable. You are not alone in your feelings, there are many kids that have this issue with their parents. It sounds like you really respect your mother's wishes, which shows that you really care for her. However, it is okay to want her to respect your wishes as well, as long as what you want is not harmful.

Unfortunately, there is not always a way to get someone to change what they believe. Parents typically want whats best for their children, and sometimes they may refuse something you want because they feel it is harmful for various reasons. There is nothing wrong or harmful with being gay, but your mom may not feel that way or perhaps has other worries about you meeting this guy. So what may help, is by showing your mom that you want to understand why she is so hesistant. If you have a good talking relationship with your mom, maybe see if there is a time that you can sit down and talk about this. It may also help to involve your sister in the talk, if she is supportive of you meeting this guy. Let her know that you want to understand where she is coming from. Sometimes through these talks it may show your parents that you are listening, and they may then be more open to hearing why you feel this guy is so positive for you. You can also try suggesting if the guy can meet you at your home, or if she would like to see a picture of him or know more information about him. This may help your mom to feel like this guy isnt so unknown to her and maybe more comfortable.

If these above suggestions dont work, feel free to call 2NDFLOOR and discuss this or any other issue further @ 1-888-222-2228.

[Unregistered]

okay

Sounds like you have a very frustrating issue at hand. It is always difficult when what you want is different from what your parents want. It can be very stressful, because you dont want to upset your parents, but you want to be happy and that is understandable. You are not alone in your feelings, there are many kids that have this issue with their parents. It sounds like you really respect your mother's wishes, which shows that you really care for her. However, it is okay to want her to respect your wishes as well, as long as what you want is not harmful.

Unfortunately, there is not always a way to get someone to change what they believe. Parents typically want whats best for their children, and sometimes they may refuse something you want because they feel it is harmful for various reasons. There is nothing wrong or harmful with being gay, but your mom may not feel that way or perhaps has other worries about you meeting this guy. So what may help, is by showing your mom that you want to understand why she is so hesistant. If you have a good talking relationship with your mom, maybe see if there is a time that you can sit down and talk about this. It may also help to involve your sister in the talk, if she is supportive of you meeting this guy. Let her know that you want to understand where she is coming from. Sometimes through these talks it may show your parents that you are listening, and they may then be more open to hearing why you feel this guy is so positive for you. You can also try suggesting if the guy can meet you at your home, or if she would like to see a picture of him or know more information about him. This may help your mom to feel like this guy isnt so unknown to her and maybe more comfortable.

If these above suggestions don't work, feel free to call 2NDFLOOR and discuss this or any other issue further @ 1-888-222-2228.

Thank you. Do you really think this will work? my mom and sister don't really seem like the "talking" type to me. i don't feel comfortable talking to them. i am not close with my family.