I don't want to choose

[Unregistered]

My mom and dad have an extremely difficult relationship. i've always been close to my dad and he's had to go through hell to stay with me. My dad gets constantly yelled at by my mom and he even got arrested because she falsely accused him of hitting her. He now has to go to weekly anger management classes. This has been extremely hard on him. They separated for about a month and then my dad moved back in. My parents never talk. It's very awkward and uncomfortable for all of us when they're together. Lately, I've been going to the beach with my mom and half sister (not my dad's kid). I've had so much fun during these trips but i feel bad for leaving my dad alone. He gets angry that i go because he feels like he's being punished and he thinks its unfair after everything that he's done for me. I totally understand him but its always so uncomfortable when they're together so it wouldn't be fun if he was there. They hate each other. Now i want to go to the same gym my mom goes to. My dad says if i go it'll end in divorce. I really want to go but he got really mad when i brought it up. I also want to go the beach with my mom and sister again this friday but my dad will be mad if i go. he wants to go to but none of us will have fun. I don't know if i should go to the gym or not. I also don't know if he should come to the beach. I don't want to have to keep choosing between my mom and my dad.

[2NDFLOOR]

This sounds like a tough position to be in. You are their child and not an adult in their relationship so don't choose sides. If you want to go to the beach or gym then go, it has nothing to do with loving your mom or dad more so tell them that. Often times when you give into guilt trips then you are inadvertently encouraging the behavior so stand up for what you want to do and hopefully they respect it. They may not but at least you won't feel caught in the middle because you have the right to live for yourself! Maybe even try writing a letter to each of them explaining how you feel torn if you feel that it will help and possibly mention family counseling. If you want to talk further about this or anything call us at 888-222-2228 or text us daily from 4-8PM at the same number. I hope this helps!!