Helpess

[Unregistered]

I'm 19.
Ambitious person, hard working, respectful and open minded. When I was 7years old my mother got with my step father a week after they started dating he put his finger on my forehead leaving me bleeding because I didn't know there the remote was. I didn't like him after that. Few years later my mother got pregnant, we moved and two years after that she got pregnant again. This time during her pregnancy he was abusive and I remember like it was yesterday how he pushed her. Cops were called no charges were involved. His manipulative, always saying his gonna change and he never does. And that harms me. Me and my other 4sibilings. My mother turned into alcohol, so now she has an alcohol problem as he has a gambling problem. At first he would blame me how it's my fault she was depressed because I'm gay. But she tells me she's depressed because of him. How we live in a small apartment and there's no space or light in it. For my 8th grade year no one attended my graduation. And for my high school year no one attended either. They said they were important that college was more important than those two. I was alone I got kicked out two weeks before my high school graduation. I stood with a friend when I came back home it was the same.
I'm a sophomore in college now. And today I woke up to my step father kicking me out again. I have no where to go. I called my uncle but if I go stay with him I have to leave within 2-3 weeks. After that where would I go? My friends say to go to PA with them but I have priorities , I go to school and work in north Bergen. I can't just leave or drop out. I feel helpless. I feel like I can't leave my mom in this stage but then again it's not my fault. I gave her 200$ to pay bills and I come back home to her drunk. I got her a job at my job and she got fired because she went drunk. I have no where to live. I have a phone bill and car bill to pay. How can I just leave it all and move else where ? Too scared for failure

[2NDFLOOR]

It really sounds like you have a lot on your shoulders! First things first, moving to PA with friends sounds like it would be a good idea for you, often times the only way to try and live a healthy life is to distance yourself from the chaos your living in. I know you love and care for your mother but she is not your responsibility and you can not make her help herself, but you can help yourself!! Don't think of you leaving as a bad or selfish thing, just prepare for it, look for a job, save some money and then make the move. Maybe while you stay with your uncle for 2/3 weeks you can try to prepare for the move. Once you get set up you then can also take care of transferring colleges. Think about your future, it's okay to live for you and be happy. Just think about it and even write a pros and cons list to sort out your feelings. Its up to you! Here are numbers and websites for AA and ALANON @ http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/ & http://www.aa.org/. Alanon is for support for you, and AA can give local meetings for your mom if she wants to use them. If you want to talk about this or anything give us a call @ 888-222-2228 anytime or text us daily from 4-8 PM at the same number. I hope this helps and Good Luck!