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In the past few years, I've been through some pretty stressful things. They range from sexual orientation to personal family matters. Recently, a lady told me that the things I'm going through, even adults don't usually have to deal with. With all this stress, I'm still genuinely kind to other people. Now I get that people process stress in their own way, but my stepfather isn't coping with it the way I thought he would. We fight a lot more and my mom gets put right in the middle. I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm the reason we're a broken family.
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I am sorry to hear that you are going through such a rough patch. It sounds like there probably is more going on with your parents and it could be trickling down to you. I know that must feel frustrating but it is not your fault! Family dynamics are complicated and there are many people involved in the circle to make it functioning so you can’t take the blame!! Maybe it would be helpful to try to express your feelings to your step dad & your mom, and let him know how upset you are by this situation. It is possible that he isn't aware of how you're feeling. Have you ever tried to write a note to your parent? Sometimes we assume someone knows how we feel, but they don't because we never communicated it to them. Also writing a note makes it non-confrontational. You may even want to reach out to another family member or professional therapist (if possible), to help. In the meantime, what do you do to cope with this stress? Try doing activities that can make you smile and feel happy, like watching comedies. Also, think about starting to exercise, journal your thought or if you like to draw or cook/bake. Try to find an outlet! Hope this helps you some. Please remember to call 2NDFLOOR anytime at 888-222-2228 for more support or text us from 4-8PM every day! -
Thank you, you have some valid points. The thing is, I've tried to express my opinions and my concerns. My parents then get upset with me because they call it "arguing" or "picking fights". Believe me, I have tried telling them my feelings in the most positive attitude, it just doesn't work. I feel like my stepfather can't swallow his pride, and try to listen or compromise. My family is ripping apart. My mom says that if my stepdad and I can't stop fighting, one of us is going to have to leave.Comment
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Maybe try to get a third party to hear all of you out, have you talked about family counseling? Even maybe try to ask a trusted relative to try to talk to your parents with you? I don't know how old you are but I do think it is important for you to get counseling for yourself so that you alone can learn how to cope with the stresses and challenges in your life. Call NJ Mental Health Cares (866) 202-4357 @ www.njmentalhealthcares.org- they have up-to-date referrals to local mental health providers. Call us if you need to talk ever or text us at 888-222-2228 between 4-8PM.Comment
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You are not the reason why. The main problem is not about you, is about the entire family. Maybe you feel like your stepfather is taking you the time and love your mom gives you. I suggest, talking to your mom about it and telling her how you feel. Maybe its better for the whole family to go to a therapist. You are not alone, we're here for you. And you should know that you're not the only one that has these type of problems. Remember that things can get better, and you should never feel guilty. These problems are mostly caused by the way you think things are. So one way to clear up your mind is to find an activity or alternative motivation so that you can feel less stressed.Comment
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