It hurts so bad

[Unregistered]

My grandma lives with me in my house, and trust me it was a great joy to have her living with my family. Everyday I come home from track practice she would give me glares and yell at me calling me names like, "your such a slut" or "why do you even go to school, your so stupid!" and so on. She would go on a rant saying that I'm useless or that I a piece of shit because I come home late (because I have track practice) and I told her that many times, but she always say I'm lying. She's always saying that I'm lying. And blames me for everything, even when it's not my fault. She would threat me when I talk back to her, that she would leave the house or that I'm not getting any food to eat tonight. And this has been going on since I was 6 years old. I remember on time I came home late she threw a towel at my head and yelled at me saying how stupid, ugly, fat I am and so on. I told my mom and dad about this and since they work about an hour away and we don't have the money to hire a babysitter, we could not afford for my grandma to live with another one of my family members. And trust me she has lived with multiple of them and she was kicked out of every one of their houses. It's hard coming home everyday after having to do track practice and taking care of my brothers, doing homework, and dealing with her everyday. I haven't been cutting myself for a long time but just recently with an argument with my grandma I grabbed a pair of scissors and started going hardcore on my legs. My mom found out but she still couldn't do anything about my grandmother, no matter how many times we try to tell her to stop. What do I do? I'm about to lose it!!!

[2NDFLOOR]

I am sorry to hear that your grandmother treats you that way. Keep in mind that when someone behaves like that it is about them and not you!!! I know that it doesn’t make it easier but just remember that the next time she does something. It sounds like your grandmother possible suffers from a mental health issue. Has she ever gone to a psychiatrist or a mental health counselor? Talk to your parents about this and see if they will take her to the doctor for an assessment. It’s really is not okay for you to be berated every day so don’t feel bad about bringing this issue up to your parents until something changes. What your grandmother is doing is emotional abuse so your parents have to address it. Maybe go to your guidance counselor and have him or her call your parents into the office to discuss this matter, often times it’s easier when there is an objective party there to come up with some suggestions to resolve an issue. Please reach out because you need someone to intervene in this so you can live in a healthy environment. Also, the cutting is not a healthy coping mechanism to deal with stress. Try to journal your feelings or do something that you enjoy to keep your mind off of this. Confide in people you trust to let out some steam from time to time. It’s good to vent! Hang in there and if you need to talk further about this or anything call 2NDFLOOR at 888-222-2228, we are here 24/7 or text us daily from 4-8PM. Good Luck!

Here are a few links and a number that for your parents to call for help; NJ Mental Health Cares at (866) 202-435 or www.njmentalhealthcares.org, the hours are 8am-10pm for you to call. Mental health professionals provide information on mental health issues and can refer you to NJ’s public mental health services. These links are for support with cutting @ www.selfinjury.com or www.selfmutilatorsanonymous.org or www.selfharm.net
Please reach, you are not alone.