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My life as I know now is really complicated to explain. Well, first, I want to say that I'm adopted and live with grandparents who aren't related to me but I still call them my grandparents but I actually call them my parents since they have taken good care of me for almost 17 years. (will be 17 in June) Anyways, the reason I say that my "parents" aren't related to me is that my birth mother slept with around 3 men and I don't know who my real father is but the man she slept with is their son and my possible father but from a DNA test him and I took when I was younger it proved to be negative but I still call him my father to this day because he still comes to see me and says he loves me. The problem is I feel as if my parents don't deserve to be taking care of me. I heard them at night talking about me while I was washing the dishes. (their room is by the kitchen and they talk really loud since they think I can't hear them when in fact I can) They were talking about how my tooth was cracked even more and how they need insurance to cover it and me being emotional with my past I started crying silently so they wouldn't hear me. My parents don't deserve to take care of a problem that's not theirs. All three of their sons are married and settled down with their own family and once they think they can finally live the life they wanted together I suddenly come into the picture and ruined everything for them. They are taking care of a problem that doesn't belong to them; I'm my birth mother's problem. But because of my stepdad being abusive to me before when I was 7 my parents didn't want me to live with her if my stepdad was going to hurt a child he didn't even want which caused my birth mother to give up for adoption. My parents don't deserve this kind of life where they have to take care of a random child that her birth mother abandoned. Ever since then I've been depressed and not even the comfort of my boyfriend can help me. I've been planning to talk with my school's guidance counselor about it but I don't know if they will understand my situation and I'm too afraid to talk with my family about it.
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That sounds like a tough situation. First of all, you should not feel guilty! I understand why you think this is not your grandparents problem, but they care about you no matter what and obviously want to help without even questioning it. As long as you show how grateful you are of them and don't take advantage then that is what matters the most in this situation. I strongly suggest that you visit your school guidance counselor and open up about your feelings. They can offer helpful non-judgmental advice or just be there as a listening ear for you to get your feelings out. If it came down to it speaking with your grandparents about this shouldn't scare you because all you would be looking to do is have them understand your sadness about this. They should obviously know that you must feel some sort of negative way about it. Your reactions to this is completely normal. I'm sure without even talking to them they have a feeling that a lot must be going through your mind. Take the chance and reach out to someone even if it is your guidance counselor to start with! If you would like to talk about this further please give us a call at the 2NDFLOOR Youth Helpline. We are here 24/7 at 888-222-2228. You can also text us daily at this number between 4pm and 8pm. Good luck!
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