My parents just don't get it part two

[Unregistered]

Thank you so much. I think I will try to write a letter or talk to my mom alone. Sometimes talking to her without my dad's influence on the conversations makes things a little better. Also, I have tried seeking help for self injury because I realize that it is such a terrible habit and I want to stop but I've only told my best friend about it and I'm just not ready to tell others yet. I don't always like bringing my problems up because I'm afraid that eventually people will get tired of me. All my friends are going out partying and having a great Summer and I'm just wallowing in my own sadness excited to go to school so that I can get out of my house. Also, my family is from Kenya and my brothers and I are the first generation to be raised here in America so the pressure is so abundant. My parents want me to be even more successful than they are. They both work in the medical field and they want me to as well. They were successfully able to convince my older brother to study Physical Therapy and he loves it. And they want me to be a Pediatrician and go to Drexel which is the last thing I want. I want to go to NYU and study film and screenwriting because the arts are a passion that I have but my parents always tell me that my dream is stupid and that I have to be a doctor. My mom thinks I will enjoy it but I'm still not convinced. I am so apprehensive about the future. I don't want to get married and I really don't want kids but instead just a cute pet and maybe a long-term boyfriend. I don't like commitment because in past relationships, I am always the person who gets hurt and with marriage, I can't get out of that. Especially with my culture, divorce is looked on as a major sin (although I feel that it is better than being in a toxic marriage). However, I don't want to get married because I don't believe that two people can honestly love each other forever. I know this sounds sad, but also my parent's relationship is weird. I know they love each other but I watch them whenever I can and my dad blames my mom for everything even when it is not her fault and I feel bad for her and I just don't want that to me. I don't want kids because I can barely even take care of myself. I would be a terrible mother. My best friend recently told me that I need to sit down with myself, take a breather and figure out the logical things in my head and the things that will not matter. She helps so much and I love her more than anything. She always knows how to make me feel better and I never want to lose her, ever. We always make plans to eventually get an apartment once we graduate High School and College and even if she gets married (she wants a big family) she says that I will always be welcome at her place. I always tell her how much I love her and that she is what keeps me going and she always tells me the same. So you can only imagine how I feel about losing her. I'm afraid she will eventually get tired of me because I really can be a handful and I just don't know. I'm all over the place.

[2NDFLOOR]

While it may be a really hard first step, telling an adult that you trust about your self-injury seems like a really good first step. What is the reason that you aren't you going out to hang out with your friends? Sometimes it can be really difficult to feel like your parents are pressuring you into doing something that you don't want to do. It sounds like you have put a huge amount of thought into wha you want for your future, which is great. It is so important to be passionate about a career and to do the things that you enjoy doing. Perhaps you can think about some ways to talk to your parents about this. Your friend seems like such a great influence and support system for you. Her advice seems really good! Often, taking a step back and a "breather" helps sort everything out. She may even be able to help you with talking to your parents about your career plans. Lastly, it is so important to have confidence in yourself! Your friend is your friend because she wants to be. If you have doubts, talk to her about them. Remember to always do what is going to make you happy! Please call 2NDFLOOR anytime at 888-222-2228 to talk!