My parents just don't get it

[Unregistered]

So tonight was basically terrible. I've been having sad feelings for some time now. I don't know if I am depressed or just need to simply get over myself. So basically today I was extra moody and I cut myself and then went to sleep from 6 to 9:30. Between that time my dad told me that he was going to drop my older brother off at school for college (he has been taking Summer classes to get ahead in school) and he told me to put food for my younger brother (he is 12) and my cousin (He is 14) but I was basically asleep so I barely even remember the conversation. Anyways, by the time I finally woke up, my brother and cousin said that they had eaten some leftovers and they were fine and everything was okay. When my mom got back from work they told her they had leftovers and she wasn't concerned. But then my dad came home and literally yelled at me to the point where my heart was racing and my body was shaking all over. Whenever my dad yells, it scares me. I'm never sure what he will do. He was saying that there were not enough leftovers and that I had STARVED my cousin and younger brother. He is so over dramatic and in all honesty, I feel like he has anger issues. Then after he yelled at me, my mom joined in and yelled at me too. She ALWAYS takes my dad's side with everything even when he is wrong. So anyways, together they just yelled at me and my dad said that I was a wicked person and even accused me of not loving my own little brother! Yes, I will be the first to admit that I fight with my brother a lot and at times he bothers me, but if anything were to ever happen to him, I have no idea how I would be able to handle the pain. After my parents both told me that I do not do anything in the house and that I am selfish, a liar and ungrateful and basically just a terrible person! I do clean the house. I cook for my siblings when I need to and I try my best to be everything that they want but I feel like I'm never good enough. I'm never good enough for anyone and it just really sucks. I just want someone to tell me that I am good enough. And you know what sucks the most? The fact that two days later, my parents will tell me how great I am and then if I make one mistake, I'm automatically labeled a bad person. They think they have me all figured out but they don't even know the half of it. They took away my phone which is horrendous because at least I could talk to my best friend about all of this to calm me down but now I just feel like I'm drowning and not even my parents care because to them I'm simply being "a wicked child". I'm so upset about all of this I don't even know if I will sleep tonight. Please don't tell me to just try and make myself happy first or sit down and talk to my parents about my self harming or my feelings in general. My mom has told me straight up that my grades are my number one priority, even more than my feelings so they don't care and when I told my Dad that I can't be perfect, his response was "why not?". Telling them that I don't even like myself would be just another reason for them to call me selfish. I just want to make my parents proud and happy even if it means not always loving myself but I can't even do that.

[2NDFLOOR]

This seems like a really tough position to be in. It is impossible for anyone to be perfect, so it is great that you recognize that. It is important to love yourself and to sometimes put your own needs first. If you aren't being treated fairly at home, it is important to find someone that you trust to reach out to for support. Perhaps a teacher or a guidance counselor, or even a professional therapist can help. They may be able to sit down with you and your parents to talk about this. What if you even reached out to your mom alone and talked to her? You may even want to try writing an email or a letter to her to express yourself. Also, self injury is never the right way to cope with a problem. It is dangerous and harmful to your body. Please reach out to someone for help with this. Perhaps if your parents know they will be more willing to talk to you about everything. Check out the website www.selfinjury.com or call 2NDFLOOR anytime at 888-222-2228 for more support!

[Unregistered]

I feel like I can really relate to your problem. I'll get a bad grade occasionally and my parents scream at me as if I did it on purpose. In times of trouble I try to remind myself that self harming will mean that I am both physically and emotionally turning on myself. Know that you are not alone in this situation and that there are so many parents that overreact the same way. I am so sorry you have to go through this but I agree that you should try and find a trusted adult. I recently looked into the emancipation laws in my state but realized that its not the right solution for a temporary problem that can be solved. try to talk to your parents or older sibling and see if he can help you, no matter how hard it may be. best of luck