No one understands

[Unregistered]

When I told my mom that I thought I may have depression, I thought she would understand if I was ever in that mood. I was wrong. She and my step-dad chastises me whenever I'm feeling down. My step-dad basically tells me to "control" my feelings, and my mom just laughs at the jokes my aunt makes about me. My aunt has never, ever said anything to me that's wasn't an insult. She just makes jokes about me, and my mom always laughs. My mom never defends me against it. She'll say something like, "That's mean," all while laughing. I just heard them laughing about me being "mental". They tell me that they understand, and that I can't let myself become sad. Obviously, I know that I can't become sad, but I can't just control that. They compare their sadness to mine, but it's not the same, because theirs goes away. Mine hasn't gone away, and I don't know if it will ever go away. They don't understand that I don't care about being in this world, much less being proper. I just want to disappear and never return. The worst feeling I feel is the feeling of being unsupported. Whether that's not having social support with friends or familial support. I don't feel supported by them, because they make no real attempt to understand my feelings. They tell me what they feel I should do, how they feel I should deal with things, how they feel I should react and feel. They don't tell me anything that I don't already know. "You have to control your feelings." "Don't let it get to that point." "We all feel depressed sometimes." I don't know what to do. I feel like they will never understand.

[2NDFLOOR]

It can be really frustrating and upsetting to not have your family and friends understand the way you are feeling. Sometimes it's easier for people to make jokes about something when they don't understand it but that doesn't make it right. Unfortunately I cannot control whether or not your family will ever understand how you are feeling, but that doesn't mean you can't talk to someone else about it. Talk to your friends, see if they can understand where you are coming from. Many people we feel depressed at some point in their lives so there are people that can relate to you. I would also recommend speaking to a counselor either at school or outside of school. That way you can develop coping skills and talk about these feelings of depression and work towards feeling more like yourself again. If you need anymore help or want to talk more call 2NDFLOOR Youth Helpline 24/7 at 888-222-2228.