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I want to die. It's all I ever think about, and I just can't live my life happily when I am always thinking about death. Anyway, my parents know that I'm severely depressed... I've tried to kill myself two times before. Now my depression is worse than it's ever been, and I think it's best if I'm admitted into a psychiatric hospital. I told my best friend how I was having suicidal thoughts and I was nervous about telling my parents (I really don't want to upset them, they have been through a lot recently). She talked to my mom for me, about how she is worried about me hurting myself and that I should get professional help and maybe be admitted. I overheard my mom and sister talking about it the next day, but they never said anything to me about it. They just ignored it after that. Maybe they think that I wouldn't want to go, or that it would be scary for me.... Or that I'm not mentally ill enough to be put in a hospital, I don't know. Should I just talk to my mom about admitting me? On the other hand, I can't miss school.. And as badly as I want to die, I really don't want to hurt my family... But I am so depressed. Any advice?
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I'm so sorry that you are feeling this way and feel nervous about telling your family about it. If you believe that you are going to kill yourself or are having suicidal thoughts please contact 911 right away or the suicide prevention lifeline at 1800-273-8255. I know that you don't want to upset your family or make them upset, but if you are having these thoughts you need to tell them. I'm sure they are worried about you, and they may not know how to approach the situation. Don't worry about missing school. You can always do the work while you are in the program depending on how long it is. Talk to your mom ASAP. Tell her exactly how you are feeling. Thank you for reaching out to 2NDFLOOR Youth Helpline and if you want to talk more call us 24/7 or text us daily 4-8PM at 888-222-2228. Remember you do not have to go through this alone!
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