i dont know what to do anymore

[Unregistered]

at this point in my life is the lowest i have ever felt. my mom is the main cause of most my stress. im 18 (turn 19 in 3 months)and im still not allowed to go anywhere at all. my family just fights all day and do nothing contructive with their time but act like fools and i have to see and hear it cause i cant leave. life is just school and home for me. all other distant relatives left my life in such a messed up way i could never forgive them for the abandoment and betrayal they have caused. this leave me with abandoment issues, trust issues, and forever with a broken heart and depression. it makes it hard to trust people. i lived in the shelter all my life. i want to do more and be more then what i am and that makes me depressed.i have thought of suicide multiple to all the times and attempted just once cause deep down i want to see myself become something great. its hard. i feel so alone and left in the dark. like the world is moving on and im just sitting here watching time fly and years shed from my life. im so stuck and its tearing me down. i just dont know what to do or how to keep going.

[2NDFLOOR]

This sounds so stressful and frustrating. It is understandable that all of this has led to you having trust issues and feeling betrayed. First, suicide is never the right way to cope with any problem. There are so many resources available for support. You can reach out for help at the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255. Second, are you currently at home or in a shelter? Third, you mentioned being in school. It may be really helpful to sit down a counselor at school and try to resolve some of these problems, like your living situation, for example. They may be able to help you find some resources within your community for support. You may even find it helpful to seek help from a professional counselor. They are really helpful, and most are affordable. It is so important to just try to be patient and to work slowly towards your goals. Think of them as an ongoing process, or set small attainable goals first and gradually work towards bigger ones. Please call 2NDFLOOR anytime at 888-222-2228 for more help with this! We are here 24/7 to help you!

[Unregistered]

helpful information

Self harm is never a solution to anything. Try making some friends for support in your life so that you are not so lonely. Look into a job or profession that interests you and keeps your mind off depression. Developing a close friendship with someone would help decrease that untrustworthy thought or feeling. Try to focus on the positive side of life and not the negative side.