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I need to get out of this right now.
As long as I remembered I have been hit. I always thought it was normal if you did something not so bad, you were spanked, if you did something kinda bad you were hit, and something really bad you were beaten. When I started competed in high level national sporting, the hitting and beating became more and more popular in my house towards me if I lose, or even did bad in practice. I started competing and getting beaten at 9, I am writing this at 15. When I started noticing I was become less and less of a child I started questioning beatings. I also was noticing how my friends were living and how they described their punishments (which were not beatings). That was at age 13. Looking back to that time when I started questioning my punishments I actually was not getting beaten that bad compared to age 15. By age 15 I was getting beaten with closed fists, objects (extension cords, broom stick poles, belts, ect). This is when I started realizing that it was not right. The day I did realize it, was the first week of school when I used my phone (and ill admit) inappropriately which caused the beating. The night after the beating I decided to leave. I grabbed some things and I ran to a family members house, who i have not been allowed to talk to for years, to find love and protection. What I thought was a happy ending was the exact opposite.
Living there for over two mouths I went through great time and reuniting with family. I also went through court dates, lawyers, and extremely painful times. This is because I ended up having to go to the police about the abuse. Which was the best thing to do, and it turned into a case, which I was winning. Except, I pushed my good fortune, taking for granted my loving new enviroment I started acting out and becoming wild. Even though my family member who I was staying with did do some other questionable things, I take the blame for having to leave. From there I stayed with a family friend for two weeks, untill I had to go home. The only condition was, was that my father could not be in the house.
It has been four mouths, and I can report life things have never been worst even though I am not being physically beaten. In my high school I see these guys and girls whining about how there mommy and daddy didn't let them go to the party, or how there boyfriend or girfriend dumped there ass. Well guess what that is not a problem in my world. Since I returned "home" I have dealt with my mother calling the police multiple times for no reason and making them take me to crisis all day. I have dealt with horrible verbal abuse, my mothers lying and spreading rumors about me to people around towns. I have dealt with trying to run away again and being put in hand cuffs and dragged back "home". I have dealt with my mother creating lies that I am suicidal and that I am trying to hurt other people. And that happened this morning and the police had to tell my mother she is crazy and take me back to school. Except, even though that little victory of where i got to back to school feels great. Right now I am being screamed at behind my locked bedroom door, where I have been stuck here for over 4 hours crying inside and out. And my question is how to I get out of all this.
As long as I remembered I have been hit. I always thought it was normal if you did something not so bad, you were spanked, if you did something kinda bad you were hit, and something really bad you were beaten. When I started competed in high level national sporting, the hitting and beating became more and more popular in my house towards me if I lose, or even did bad in practice. I started competing and getting beaten at 9, I am writing this at 15. When I started noticing I was become less and less of a child I started questioning beatings. I also was noticing how my friends were living and how they described their punishments (which were not beatings). That was at age 13. Looking back to that time when I started questioning my punishments I actually was not getting beaten that bad compared to age 15. By age 15 I was getting beaten with closed fists, objects (extension cords, broom stick poles, belts, ect). This is when I started realizing that it was not right. The day I did realize it, was the first week of school when I used my phone (and ill admit) inappropriately which caused the beating. The night after the beating I decided to leave. I grabbed some things and I ran to a family members house, who i have not been allowed to talk to for years, to find love and protection. What I thought was a happy ending was the exact opposite.
Living there for over two mouths I went through great time and reuniting with family. I also went through court dates, lawyers, and extremely painful times. This is because I ended up having to go to the police about the abuse. Which was the best thing to do, and it turned into a case, which I was winning. Except, I pushed my good fortune, taking for granted my loving new enviroment I started acting out and becoming wild. Even though my family member who I was staying with did do some other questionable things, I take the blame for having to leave. From there I stayed with a family friend for two weeks, untill I had to go home. The only condition was, was that my father could not be in the house.
It has been four mouths, and I can report life things have never been worst even though I am not being physically beaten. In my high school I see these guys and girls whining about how there mommy and daddy didn't let them go to the party, or how there boyfriend or girfriend dumped there ass. Well guess what that is not a problem in my world. Since I returned "home" I have dealt with my mother calling the police multiple times for no reason and making them take me to crisis all day. I have dealt with horrible verbal abuse, my mothers lying and spreading rumors about me to people around towns. I have dealt with trying to run away again and being put in hand cuffs and dragged back "home". I have dealt with my mother creating lies that I am suicidal and that I am trying to hurt other people. And that happened this morning and the police had to tell my mother she is crazy and take me back to school. Except, even though that little victory of where i got to back to school feels great. Right now I am being screamed at behind my locked bedroom door, where I have been stuck here for over 4 hours crying inside and out. And my question is how to I get out of all this.
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