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Growing up my parents have always believed in the Italian life style of smacking your kids.. and that used to be all that is was. Now my father has begun hitting my mother, for things as simple as she didn't have time to go food shopping yet or money was short and she couldnt pay the bills. A little over 2 years ago he was REALLY hitting her and I called the police, when they came to my house they said that they could not do anything for me because my mom wasn't telling them the truth (she was scared). Now i have a video, you can only hear the voices, but it is her saying "dont hit me" and then you can hear him hitting her. Would this be enough proof to show the police? I really can not live with him anymore. I have been so depressed lately. He would not let me go away to college and I am not allowed to get my own job, I have to work for him. I hate him so so much and I can not get away from him. I want to move out but none of my family wants to get involved because they don't want to deal with him. I've tried telling my mom to be honest with the police and she is scared that he will hit her more. Im 18 now and don't know if the cops will be able to take my word for it and arrest him. I can not continue to live like this.
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Thanks for reaching out to 2NDFLOOR. You should be proud of yourself for having to courage to contact us and ask for help. It sounds like this is a very difficult situation. If you are having thoughts of self harm please pick up the phone and call 911 or go to your local emergency room. Someone there can help immediately or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255. It sounds like you and your mother are dealing with domestic violence. As a victim of abuse she may be afraid of him and does not want to tell police because they can take him out of the home. Many victims of domestic violence may feel ashamed, lack financial resources, or simply feel hopeless that the situation will not get better. But as you have already figured out this is very unhealthy and dangerous situation. Your father sounds like he needs some mental health counseling to help him with anger and to stop being an abuser to you and your mother. It sounds like you love your mother but something has to change and you cannot make that change happen all by yourself. Here is some information that could be helpful for both you and your mother. We are affiliated with 180-Turning Lives Around. It deals with domestic violence. This could be a great resource for both of you, whether just to talk, or to find resources to leave. Their website www.180nj.org it has links to different programs that may be helpful. Their number is 888-843-9262. Here is the number to Department of Child Protection and Permanency at 877- 652-2873 as well. Maybe you can talk to your mom about going to counseling as a family even, NJ Mental Health Cares number is 866- 202-4357. It might be hard to think about getting help, but you have to, you shouldn't feel that way in your own home. As an 18 year old, you are consider an adult and will be able to testify. I would suggest that you make an official report so that it goes on record of what is going on at home. Your mother will be able to get resources in the community from Domestic Violence Units. I hope that this post encourages you to take the next step. Please give 2NDFLOOR a call anytime if you want to discuss this more at 888-222-2228, we also do texting now every Friday from 4-8 pm @ 908-280-0235. -
My mom refuses to talk about it with anyone, even me or her parents. I have called the cops on him before and he has a file. Do you think if i reported him to the police now they would arrest him? In the video you can hear here yelling for him not to hit her.Comment
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It's impossible for us to say what the police would do. If you're not sure, go down to your local police station and show someone the video and ask what your options are. All of the resources above are also great, helpful sources of support as well.Comment
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if i show them the video won't they be forced to do something with out my input? I feel like that could go really wrong.Comment
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Unless I'm misunderstanding your original question wrong, you are looking for ways to help your mother from a domestic violence situation. If that is indeed what you are trying to do, bringing that video to the police will start the process of doing just that. And again, in our first response to you there were a bunch of other great referrals that you could use as well if going to the police isn't an option for you at this time.Comment
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Basically, he is a monster. I need to do something that will take him out of our lives immediately. He told my mother that if she ever told anyone that he hit her that he will take her life, so to tell someone and have him not taken away presents the risk of her getting hurt. I don't know what to do that will make him being taken away easy.Comment
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