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So today we had Sex Ed and our teacher asked if whether or not sex should be held off until one becomes a mature adult. I lost my virginity this month last year when I was 14, but never told my parents. They think I'm still a virgin. Like in January my father wanted to give me "the talk" but they decided to hold off because they didn't think it was time. In my opinion I don't really need it because I'm a very aware person, I do my research, I've read my encyclopedia on sex and I've always known the dangers and what's safe about sex. But I was thinking about in the future, like at some point I'm going to have to tell them because I don't want to be 27 talking to my parents and say "actually I lost my virginity at 14 not 18, 21 or whenever." but I don't want to tell them because it's not like something I do often. I've had sex once and with my ex but I just recently got a boyfriend who I love very much and we talk about having sex but we haven't had time. We've been intimate and what not, he's used his fingers but never had full blown penetration. but I guess my point is, should I tell my parents now or later? like I know now seems like best answer because they can "teach me things and what not" but I'm really a safe and independent person, I'm 16 next month and pretty sure I know what I'm doing. I'm pretty mature for my age and have other ways of learning what I need to know.
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It sounds like you have given this a lot of thought. Having a conversation about sex especially with your parents can seem very difficult. Have you ever had conversations with them about difficult topics? It can be helpful to look at their reactions to those conversations in an effort to gauge their reactions. Are there other adults you feel you can have the conversation with? Maybe an aunt, uncle, older cousin or even grandparent? It is true that wisdom does come with age, however not every person acquires the same level of wisdom. Ultimately you have to do what you feel comfortable with. And the most important thing is to always use some form of protection with any level of sexual contact example condoms for any penetrative sex/ penis based oral sex or dental dams/cling wrap for vaginal/anal oral sex.
These are two really great sites that can help with any sexual questions http://sexetc.org/ or http://www.scarleteen.com/
Both of these sites are made for teens (by other teens) and have a vast amount of information.
You are also welcome to call 2ndFloor to talk, we have counselors available 24/7 days a week.
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