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I'm 18 years old. Everyday is the same thing over and over again. Same bull crap different day. I love life and I hate it with a strong passion. I love life because I'm in love with my girlfriend (I'm bisexual) and I'm on my way of achieving my goal as a marine biologist (still in college). But I hate life because my family... Everything I've done in life was to make them proud but nothing can make them proud. I've always thought suicide was the answer but than after some thinking I realized that it wouldn't make them proud. They wouldn't be phased by my death. So I live everyday getting called names and feeling like dirt. Upon that I have anger issues and bipolar disorder. Everyday gets tougher and everyday I just feel like slipping away. I guess I just need someone to help take this feeling away before its to late
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It takes alot of guts to share your feelings online, and honestly that is half the battle towards feeling better. So thank you for sharing! When your feeling down it can definitely affect seeing all the good in your life, but from your post it sounds like you have alot of good things going on, and that you recognize them. You are in school, pursuing a degree you are passionate about, and you have a loving girlfriend. All of these are fantastic things to look forward to every day.
That being said, it is of course still possible to feel upset and down at times, especially if your dealing with name calling and the stress of making other prouds. So with all these feelings and concerns, it may be helpful to reach out to a therapist to talk about everything going on. They can help you sort through your feelings, and perhaps even offer suggestions on dealing with your anger or bipolar disorder. You can try a therapist through your college, by contacting your Health Office. You may also want to try journaling just to get your feelings out. Of course don't be afraid to lean on your girlfriend if you feel comfortable to do so. It sounds like you truly value her and she may be a huge source of support for you. There are also some helplines that you can call for assistance if you wish as well. Feel free to contact 2NDFLOOR 24/7 at 1-888-222-2228 for the helpline information or anything else you may want to talk about. -
I would just like to make a comment on your title here....you are completely right, blood isnt thicker of water...the actual quote is "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb" meaning your friends are more valuable than family...so you are on the dotComment
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