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My dad just got a DUI today, totaled one of the cars we have, and was arrested as a result... But I'm really scared and nervous. I'm a Senior in high school, and based on what I think i heard, his penalty could be suspension of 7 months to a year, up to 3 years or something in prison, and 2x $100 fines and $1000 fines for up to 3 years. My family is not rich, nor are we super poor, but i feel like this could really hurt my family. And it scares me that since my family only has one car I cant get a job to help out, neither could my father drive to work. I'm months away from going to college which is a huge debt, but i'm just really really scared about the rest of my family and just. I want to take care of them but i feel powerless. I know my dad knows he made a huge mistake and is kicking himself in the ass for it, and i feel bad. But it was wrong but i'm in like distress, i think i might be having anxiety attacks, and this is just scaring me a lot. My mom hasnt worked in a few years cause we're a family of 7, and I'm the oldest. So as the oldest i have to be strong for the rest of my siblings as if nothing happened. But christmas is near, money's a scramble. I cant stress enough about how scared i am. I dont feel close enough to anyone not even my best friend to tell this to because i feel like they would tell their parents in an attempt to "help my family" or to just tell them. I've had that happen before with my cousin who told his parents everything that i told him in confidentiality and i was upset about that, so i have like trust issues. But this is very important to me, i'm trying to apply for as much scholarships as possible, but i'm going to end up having to take loans out, and i don't want my parents to have to pay for those. Now like i've been stressed but my stress is that much higher now and I can't control this, i need to talk to someone but i'm just really scared. You know senior year is about having fun and making memories and i just cant now, and i feel guilty that i feel this way but like for example Prom, that would be expensive, i wanted to go to Wild Wood which is where a lot of the people go after prom but now i feel like that trip is just a dream now. This just sucks, i feel so useless, I feel alone cause i can't talk to anyone about this really and I can't talk to my parents because there's just this barrier like dictator to prisoner(bad reference) but you get the idea. I really need help, I'm afraid, and confused, and i feel helpless. Please. Please Please. help me.
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I understand you being afraid and confused at this time. Most of the time an individual is offered the option to pay for fines accrued due to DUIs on a payment plan so all of the money required is not due right away; the courts will work with your family. I think it's admirable you care so much about your family, but you are holding on to a huge burden at this time. It is important to confide in someone-possibly a guidance counselor or a trusted adult that can help you identify some age appropriate coping skills to help you cope with the stress of your current family situation. As difficult as it may seem it is important to remain positive and engage in normal adolescent activities such as prom because you will only have one opportunity for those events. Perhaps talking to your parents about their financial plans moving forward regarding this situation will help to ease your mind-it is possible they already have worked out a plan to address this issue and maybe hearing their plan will help you to relieve some stress. You can even ask them if there is anything you can do to help-open communication is important. Please feel free to call us anytime at 1-888-222-2228 to further discuss this issue or any problem you may have!
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