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I want to help my mom get out of an abusive relationship with my dad. Need Advise.
So my dad and my mom have been married for a little over 25 years and have been unhappy for my whole life growing up basically. That was mainly because of my dads previous drug addiction prior to my birth. They separated for a few weeks or months or something and I know he went to rehab, but my mom loved him and took him back in even though it would only lead to more disaster. He still is on a lesser substance than he was at the time, but he is stilled doped out when ever you see him which can be saddening at times.
My dad is has too much pride in my mom in a way that scares her. For example, if she were to day a thing about a divorce or anything, she thinks he would do something to threaten her, even though he doest normally, but just for the fact that she sees him as a threat is concerning.
After my dad did go to rehabs and everything and after his major drug craze, I guess that was when all the savings and everything they had was gone, which lead my my mom's dad to buy us a house, which my dad has taken over and thinks is his and is totally a junk pile, which lead me to leave home. She is still stuck there. If my mom divorced my dad, I would think he and my brother would go absolutely crazy and do something because they have no where to go, but to get jobs, which is hard because both are very lazy and my dad is unable to work and hasn't had a job my whole life. She wants to sell the house and live where I do which she is welcomed to do but she is afraid I think- and stuck. We would love to get a small apartment together even.
It took me 16 years to really realize the drugs and everything, but now that I can actually understand better since i have gotten older. I have been convincing my mom to finally get it over with and divorce him for all of the emotional hurt she goes through on a daily basis. She tells me that she really wants to, but at the moment it is very hard because of the fact that she lost her job recently.
I do know practically nothing about divorce costs, but I think that if she did do this, she could get help with her financial status and the divorce in general could help as she would not be giving my dad money that supports any of his habits anymore. My dad is not supporting my family hardly at all and my older brother is depleting any funds that my mom could use to make a budget for as well. He sticks by my dads side and when my dad can not get the money, my brother is very forceful with his words and is very angry. My mom gives in only so that she will be left alone, but the same thing happens over and over.
My mom is such a nice woman, who gives anyone anything they need, not caring about herself first. But everyone walks all over her. She is the only real adult I know and she has to take care of almost 5 other people with lists beyond lists of problems. If she left for a day, no one would remotely know what to do because of their dependency to her. She has gone through too much and needs a break, like a real break. I just really want to be able to tell her that there is an option and we can work on things really getting better for the both of us. She deserves to be happy and come out of her depression she has been in for all of these years. I cant to take the stress off of her shoulders for once. She deserves it.
Questions I have that maybe someone could answer: How much does a typical divorce cost? How long could it take? Is there someone who could help in a process of this in general? My mom already knows she wants this. Its just the financial and the scary things that could happen. Is there any way to be protected from that? What is the next step to take or good starting point? If I were to get a job (im almost 17) , do you think i could help pay for what needs to be done? Or should we wait for her to get one? Or can you borrow money for that? I don't know what Im asking at this point.
<I really appreciate anyone who takes their time to read this. I know this is very hard to follow beings as it is being written very late at night when i probably should very well be asleep.>
My dad is has too much pride in my mom in a way that scares her. For example, if she were to day a thing about a divorce or anything, she thinks he would do something to threaten her, even though he doest normally, but just for the fact that she sees him as a threat is concerning.
After my dad did go to rehabs and everything and after his major drug craze, I guess that was when all the savings and everything they had was gone, which lead my my mom's dad to buy us a house, which my dad has taken over and thinks is his and is totally a junk pile, which lead me to leave home. She is still stuck there. If my mom divorced my dad, I would think he and my brother would go absolutely crazy and do something because they have no where to go, but to get jobs, which is hard because both are very lazy and my dad is unable to work and hasn't had a job my whole life. She wants to sell the house and live where I do which she is welcomed to do but she is afraid I think- and stuck. We would love to get a small apartment together even.
It took me 16 years to really realize the drugs and everything, but now that I can actually understand better since i have gotten older. I have been convincing my mom to finally get it over with and divorce him for all of the emotional hurt she goes through on a daily basis. She tells me that she really wants to, but at the moment it is very hard because of the fact that she lost her job recently.
I do know practically nothing about divorce costs, but I think that if she did do this, she could get help with her financial status and the divorce in general could help as she would not be giving my dad money that supports any of his habits anymore. My dad is not supporting my family hardly at all and my older brother is depleting any funds that my mom could use to make a budget for as well. He sticks by my dads side and when my dad can not get the money, my brother is very forceful with his words and is very angry. My mom gives in only so that she will be left alone, but the same thing happens over and over.
My mom is such a nice woman, who gives anyone anything they need, not caring about herself first. But everyone walks all over her. She is the only real adult I know and she has to take care of almost 5 other people with lists beyond lists of problems. If she left for a day, no one would remotely know what to do because of their dependency to her. She has gone through too much and needs a break, like a real break. I just really want to be able to tell her that there is an option and we can work on things really getting better for the both of us. She deserves to be happy and come out of her depression she has been in for all of these years. I cant to take the stress off of her shoulders for once. She deserves it.
Questions I have that maybe someone could answer: How much does a typical divorce cost? How long could it take? Is there someone who could help in a process of this in general? My mom already knows she wants this. Its just the financial and the scary things that could happen. Is there any way to be protected from that? What is the next step to take or good starting point? If I were to get a job (im almost 17) , do you think i could help pay for what needs to be done? Or should we wait for her to get one? Or can you borrow money for that? I don't know what Im asking at this point.
<I really appreciate anyone who takes their time to read this. I know this is very hard to follow beings as it is being written very late at night when i probably should very well be asleep.>
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