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severe issues with an online partner

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  • severe issues with an online partner

    so i started dating someone, and for context, both me and the partner are polyamorous, and also 15 years old. i'm going to call the partner M, for purposes of clarification.

    so i had to comfort them last night about the third breakup they've had in a month. the thing that feels surreal about this time, however, is that i helped the person who broke up with M with writing the break up message.

    they admitted they might kill themselves if i broke up with them, prompting me to respond that i'd try my best to stay with them for as long as possible. they have BPD and have been having episodes quite frequently lately due to an influx of people breaking up with them, so i'm thinking it might be a mental illness thing? i would not know, all i have is autism and ADHD.

    i also know that i told them expressly to not discuss NSFW with me, and yet they say on call about how they're taking the BDSM test and invite us to take it too.

    i've felt queasy about them ever since we started dating, but this whole thing is really the nail on the head. i talked over it with my primary partner and M's ex-partner, and now i wanna break up with them, but honestly i just feel scared and like- hyper-connected to them, so- watch me do nothing about this. but seriously does anyone know what i should do? and please dont say "just break up with them", it isn't that easy. thank you so much for any help.

  • #2
    If you are going to choose to date, you have to be able to make choices that are sometimes difficult or hard. Dating someone you don't really want to date isn't healthy for you or them. And them emotionally blackmailing you by saying they will harm themselves if you break up with them definetely isn't healthy either. The most important thing for you to do at this point is to do what you can to make sure they are safe. Tell a trusted adult or their parents that this person is saying they are going to hurt themselves so they could make sure they get the help they need and the adults can make sure they are safe. At 15, this isn't something you should be dealing with, it's an issue for trained adults. Once they are safe, you can make any choice you feel is the right choice for you. Call or text us anytime at 888-222-2228.

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