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I am a sophomore who has been dating the same boy since the 7th grade and lately things have been so bad. There is no physical/sexual/verbal abuse but I am not happy with him. Ever since he began smoking marijuana he has changes his behavior, friends, the way he acts, his school work is not as great and he makes me miserable. I wish things would go back to how they were and it is very unfair because I was so happy and he was so happy and then he changed. I have been dealing with this for almost a year and I do not know what to do. I love him very much and he is my best friend but I do not like who he has become. I am scared that no one will love me like he does and that I won't find someone I love either. What do I do?
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Try to have a conversation with him about how his drug use/behaviors are negatively impacting you and your relationship. Offer him specific examples of how you are impacted by his choices and be honest with him about how you're feeling. He may not be aware of how much you are affected by what he is doing; give him the opportunity to do something different. However, it is important to remember you cannot control someone else's behaviors, only your own so if your boyfriend is unwilling to make changes then you will have to make some choices. It is also important to recognize that people change. I'm sure both of you are very different people as sophomores than you were in seventh grade. You and all of your friends will continue to change over time, which will cause your relationships to change as well. Sometimes people grow apart, it is a very natural and normal part of life. You have to be true to yourself. You should not remain in a relationship out of fear; you should engage in activities and relationships that are enjoyable for you. Sometimes the right thing to do is not always the easiest thing to do. Take some time to assess your relationship and your life and see if your relationship is helping you achieve your goals. Your partner should be enriching your life and making you a better individual, if you are no longer gaining anything from your relationship it may be time for you to make some changes. Please feel free to give us a call anytime, we are available 24/7 at 1-888-222-2228.
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