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I'm bisexual and I'm a girl. I've never been put in a position to make all the first moves because usually the guy does that. So you can maybe understand my struggle in all of this. This is irrelevant but I thought I should add that in. There's this girl I've liked for a while now and I was really happy when I found out she liked me back. When she and I started talking she would push the idea of dating. She would bring it up and stuff so naturally I waited a few days and then asked her out. I was really hesitating to do so but I did it because she wanted to date and I liked the idea. She then said we should wait longer and I said I understood and it was fine. A few days later she texts me and completely friend zones me. She said she wasn't ready for a relationship and I said it was fine and I understood where she was coming from. So we stopped talking like we were and started talking like friends again. Then later on she texted me again and said that she loved me to death but she wasn't ready and I said that it was fine and she didn't need to worry. After that texted she started flirting again and we started talking like we were before. So it was continuous flirting and we were waiting out until her birthday but I don't know what to do anymore. I feel that I'm spending too much time waiting out on her. I Want to move on but I'm not sure if I should do it. Help?
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Wow, it's easy to see why you are so confused with all the back and forth and mixed messages you are getting. And from what you are describing, you are being incredibly patient and respectful of her feelings as well, so great job to you. What do you think would happen if you were honest with her and said that you were starting to feel like this isn't going anywhere and you are considering moving on. Not in a mean way, but explain that you've been very patient is dealing with her confusion because you do care about her, but at some point you have to be fair to yourself as well and get in a relationship with a person that is more clear on their feelings toward you. Maybe even pick a date (like the birthday you describe) and say, I care about you, but I need to care about me too, so if you still don't know what you'd like to do by ______________ (whatever day you pick), I'm going to move on from the relationship and just be friends. Keep in mind she may be confused and dealing with issues on her end that you're not aware of too. Maybe even ask her if somethings going on that's keeping her from making a choice. Either way, good luck and best wishes. Call or text us anytime at 888-222-2228.
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