Can't get over him

[Unregistered]

I have this close friend that I have fallen very hard for. He checks off basically every item on my "perfect guy" list and he is constantly on my mind. He is not dating right now, not me or anyone else. He has talked about it numerous times how he just isn't into that. I know that i cannot change who he is and that I stand 0 chance with him, but I can't get him off of my mind. Any text that I get makes my heart flutter and I love spending time with him. I don't want to tell him how I feel because I know he won't be receptive to it and I'm afraid it will just hurt our friendship, which I value so deeply. But every now and then I think about how it won't go anywhere and a part of me breaks just a little bit. It's very painful to go through and I'm just not sure what i should do about it.

[2NDFLOOR]

This is definitely a tough situation! Also a situation that many girls and guys have been in! Obviously it is very hard to control certain feelings especially when he meets all of your expectations and also since it sounds like you are close with him. You said all of the right things though in your post. If he has said that he is not into dating right now then that pretty much says a lot. You also said that you wouldn't want to tell him because you think it would hurt your friendship. I can understand that since you know that he doesn't want a girlfriend right now. There are a few ways you can go about this, but you just have to weigh out the pros and cons to each scenario.
1. You can be honest about your feelings, get them off your chest, see if there is a chance that he feels the same way, but risk changing your friendship (either by a little or a lot) if he doesn't.
2. You can just go about this the way you have, deal with these feelings on your own and keep your friendship the same.
3. You can follow #2 and just wait it out...who knows what can happen in time...he may change sooner than later and want to start dating (either you which would obviously make you happy or someone else which would upset you and make you move on).
4. You can follow #2 but also add in getting to know other guys to see if they can take some of your attention off of being focused on him.
5. You can back off a little bit by not talking with him as much or hanging around him as often this way your feelings for him are not constantly being reinforced and growing.
No matter what I know this is going to be a hard decision! You just have to go with what you feel is the best for you! Just remember that feelings constantly change so who knows what you may be feeling a few weeks from now! If you would like to talk about this further you can give us a call at the 2NDFLOOR Youth Helpline. We are here 24/7 at 888-222-2228. You can also text us daily at this number between 4pm and 8pm. Good luck!!