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I failed my driving test today after hitting the cones while parallel parking. I'm embarrassed about it because I fear that it's unattractive to my girlfriend. I should have had my license 7 months ago on my birthday, I was lazy and waited so long to finally take the test and then failed. I fear that it just projects this image of immaturity, laziness, and dependence; none of which are attractive features. We're always limited as to where we can go and what we can do because I don't have my license and her car's breaks have been broken for a while. She always has to leave my house early because her mother has to come pick her up. I fear that it makes me look childish and not sexually attractive. Both of her ex's were older than her and could drive (her and I are the same age). My ex would always get mad at me for not getting my license because she had to drive us everywhere and she pretty much told me that it was unattractive and since then I've been really insecure about it. Part of me believes that my ex cheated on me 4 times because she couldn't view me as a "man" and instead just a boy because I couldn't drive and was dependent on other's for transportation. I already have enough self doubt and already feel like I'm not good enough for my girlfriend, this just makes matters worse. We're extremely close and we've met each other's extended families and talk everyday and know so much about each other and engage in physical activities (not yet sexual) but I'm just insecure about this, I feel like it's like an elephant in the room that makes it so I have to over compensate in order to paint myself in a positive light and be attractive in any way. Those who I speak to agree that its possible that my inability to drive can be perceived as unattractive. I wouldn't blame one for feeling that way because attraction works on a subconscious level. I fear that she pretends to not care just to not hurt my feelings, or that she feels guilty over not feeling as attracted to me as she wants be over what she consciously perceives to be a shallow point of contention.
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Thank you for reaching out to 2NDFLOOR. Everyone feels types of insecurities or self doubt at points in their lives. These insecurities and self doubt can make it hard for us to look at positive aspects of ourselves. As far as your ex, her cheating is a reflection of herself. Your inability to drive at that point does not make it ok for her to hurt you or lie. In terms of your new girlfriend, talk to her. Let her know that you are feeling this way. Explain your insecurities and concerns. If you believe it's the elephant in the room then eliminate it by having a conversation about it. She may not look at it the same way as you. Lots of people fail their driving tests, but that's why you are able to take it again, so try to prepare yourself more next time. If you want to talk more call 2NDFLOOR Youth Helpline 24/7 or text us daily 4-8PM at 888-222-2228.
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