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Okay, so just to clear things up, I'm a pansexual female. So when I was in 8th grade I went through a suicidal phase in my life. I eventually reached out to a distant friend(we'll call her Haley). She told me she was going through the same thing and we started comforting each other and in the end we both saw therapists and psychiatrists. We became best friends after that. Fast forward a year, and my mother moves me to a private all girls school to keep me studying. I met a girl there (we'll call her Emerald) and we quickly became close friends. About half way through the school year we became a couple. I was super happy and the first person I told was Haley. She was super happy for me. After Emerald and I had been going out for a few months I didn't feel the same way about her. I figured it was normal, but Emerald was still really in love with me. After a while I started to pretty much distance myself from Emerald. Meanwhile, my mother decides to set up a time for Haley and me to hang out so I don't loose contact with all my old friends. So instead of spending my time with Emerald, all my attention was focused on Haley, and I eventually developed a crush on her. I didn't think it was a big deal, I just needed to spend more time with Emerald, but even after spending more time with her and less with Haley, the feelings didn't go away, in fact, they got stronger. There are two problems with this, 1) emerald is my girlfriend and I can't break up with her, because I can't hurt her. 2) Haley isn't really into girls and doesn't see me as more than a friend. I don't know what to do now. I can't get Haley off my mind, and she just wants to be friends. And I'm not in love with Emerald anymore, but she still loves me and I can't break up with her because it will hurt her feelings.
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Many times we may develop feelings for people who do not reciprocate those feelings. You can talk to your friend Haley about your feelings or you can look at her as someone who has the qualities that you would like to have in your next relationship. You don't want to stay in a relationship just because you don't want to hurt someone's feelings. Yes, breakups are hard, but they are all part of finding the right person for you. It will be difficult at first but at time Emerald will move forward. This will also give you time to explore relationships with other individuals who do share these same feelings as you. If you want to talk more give 2NDFLOOR Youth Helpline a call 24/7 or text us daily 4-8PM at 888-222-2228.
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