What is this??

[Unregistered]

15, Female.
Okay, so I apologize in advance if this is lengthy.

I'm experiencing this problem. It seems as though anytime I enter a relationship, i can't get a grip on any of it. I met this guy over the summer and we were talking for a while but he was into me way more than I was into him, simply because I had too much going on and I wasn't sure if I was ready for a relationship. Towards the end of the summer, he was grounded for a month or so and was without a phone so we had no real way of contacting one another (since we don't share any classes). I missed him at first but then realized I was a little more content being alone. When he got his phone back and we met up, he presented himself in such a different manner that I was a bit more attracted to him. We were talking again and were open about how we felt and things seemed okay, but then he started acting different. He became cold towards our mutual friends as well as myself. We pretty much broke things off between us and did some sexual things with other girls. He told me this later on during an argue meant when I confronted him about his different attitude and at one point, I could hear him sniffling (as he if was crying) over the phone but he was too proud to admit it. We stopped talking again for a while, and I was a bit more heartbroken the second time around, but now that I recently moved, we live on the same street. We have been talking again and he told my friend that he never stopped caring about me, didn't give up on me, etc. He even told her that he loves me. I brought this up with him and he seems completely different. He is always eager to see me and says that his new goal in life is to make me smile everyday. As these things are extremely sweet, I can't help but feel a bit awkward about all of this. I don't know if we really have anything in common, and we always struggle to make conversation in person (aside from the basic "how was your day," "how are you," etc). I'm afraid the only time I can enjoy myself around him is when our friends are around too, but not when we are alone. But if I were to lose him again... I'm not sure how I would feel.

I haven't told anyone about this but I don't know if I can handle relationships. I have had crushes, felt attracted to people, but never really had a relationship. I had a lot of issues with my father growing up and I wonder if this is because of that? I know that those who read this don't know me personally, but based on what I've said, I could really use some advice. Is there any way to fix this? I need relief, I want to be happy...

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this.

[2NDFLOOR]

Relationships at any age can be hard and confusing. You're right strained or difficult relationships of any kind can sometimes affect us in future relationships (the one with your father). However, these relationships do not define your future ones. Sometimes it can be scary to start something new or to trust someone to not break your heart. This is a chance we take in any relationship. It's a learning experience. You don't have to date if you don't feel you are ready, but also don't allow the issues with your father to stop you from entering a relationship. Have you eve tried talking to someone about your relationship with your father and what happened? It can help to talk about them, process them, and learn from them. In terms of not feeling like you are able to enjoy yourself as much when your alone with him compared to being with all your friends sometimes this can be normal. It may be weird at first but then you may start to feel more comfortable. However, you also could be right, that you don't have as much in common as you first thought. This is something only you will know with time. If you find that you don't want to be in a relationship with him, maybe you will still be able to maintain a great friendship. I hope that this has helped in someway. If you want to talk more call 2NDFLOOR Youth Helpline 24/7 or text us daily 4-8PM at 888-222-2228.