Dating invite

[Unregistered]

I am a freshman in college and a first-generation Indian girl. My parents joke about what would happen if I date, but it's never a serious conversation. Dating's not too acceptable in our family. Dating out of community is worse. I know that if I were dating, and if I were to tell them, I would crush them and ruin my relationship with my parents. I would never want to do that!

It's been a non-issue all through high school--I was the freak with a disability all through high school and was never that "special person" in anyone's eyes. My wheelchair got in the way for most people, and I wasn't invited to prom, homecoming, etc. And, it didn't matter. I focused on my schoolwork and figured that I would find my niche in other ways.

Last week, I got an email from someone in my college (the invitation was anonymous) inviting me to join a dating website. I don't know who invited me, and I am not sure what to do. A part of me really wants to join--wants to find what mystery person who wants to look past the wheelchair to ask me out. Another part of me remembers her background, remembers her parents and her family--a family that would disapprove of me were I do join the site, accept the invite and go out with this mystery person. I think this is what a culture clash is, and I don't know what to do! I also feel bad for having this curiosity, for wanting to meet this mystery person who sought me out. I hope it doesn't in some way make me perverse.

[2NDFLOOR]

Having to deal with culture and dating can be very tricky indeed. The thing to remember is that you have to make choices for you and not to please other people. There is nothing wrong with dating within your own culture...if that is what YOU want to do, but in life you cannot go through and do things only to please your folks. It in NO WAY makes you perverse to be curious about someone being interested in you. It's very normal. There is also nothing wrong with joining the website to see who it is. It also doesn't mean you HAVE to date him/her. College opens up new doors and experiences, so if you are comfortable doing so, take advantage of them. As you are becoming an adult, you are going to want to do things that make you happy and enjoy life. Hopefully, your parents can see your happiness and be happy for you as well. Call us anytime at 888-222-2228.