Tweet
Dear ANM,
I miss you. No matter how much of a loser it makes me sound like, given I fell so in love with a girl I only ever talked to over text. You've meant more to me than anyone in the world over the last year, even if I made it seem another way at times. I miss all the fun conversations we used to have about anything and everything. I miss those hours long conversations that would break each other's DnD, when you would have to fake sleeping so your mom wouldn't yell at you. And I know it's been so long since we've had one of those conversations, you've talked to 3 other guys since then that have replaced that role, but they were maybe the most meaningful and most connecting conversations I've ever had in my entire life. I miss your wild and chaotic mind with the most wonderful random thoughts that I have ever had anyone tell me, that chaotic brain that seemed to turn cold to me at some point. I may miss that the most, it was truly my favorite thing about you. No one ever made me feel more wanted, more important, more like I had a purpose than you over those few months. I took comfort in having someone to talk to on my good days and my bad days, and in knowing that someone else has trusted me enough for me to take on the same role for them. I had liked you from Freshman year because I truly believed (and still believe) you were the prettiest girl I had ever seen, but when I found out you weren't just beautiful on the outside, that's when I fell in love. I never acted because I was so deathly afraid of you pushing me away. April 22. I finally tried to make a move well too late. Maybe I didn't show it, but I was crushed. Thinking back, it was dumb in the first place, but I knew that before I pressed send. I told myself over and over from then on that I had to get over you, and I just never could. I kept finding a way to be totally lost in you. And that leads us up to the last few months. I thought something was reigniting, and then it was all gone. You "don't rly text anyone anymore", but you're constantly on snap. The breaking point is last night's TikTok that I felt like included me, making me realize my worst fear, you liked me too and I was too stupid to make a move on it. The shattering point was you not knowing it was my birthday.
I miss you. No matter how much of a loser it makes me sound like, given I fell so in love with a girl I only ever talked to over text. You've meant more to me than anyone in the world over the last year, even if I made it seem another way at times. I miss all the fun conversations we used to have about anything and everything. I miss those hours long conversations that would break each other's DnD, when you would have to fake sleeping so your mom wouldn't yell at you. And I know it's been so long since we've had one of those conversations, you've talked to 3 other guys since then that have replaced that role, but they were maybe the most meaningful and most connecting conversations I've ever had in my entire life. I miss your wild and chaotic mind with the most wonderful random thoughts that I have ever had anyone tell me, that chaotic brain that seemed to turn cold to me at some point. I may miss that the most, it was truly my favorite thing about you. No one ever made me feel more wanted, more important, more like I had a purpose than you over those few months. I took comfort in having someone to talk to on my good days and my bad days, and in knowing that someone else has trusted me enough for me to take on the same role for them. I had liked you from Freshman year because I truly believed (and still believe) you were the prettiest girl I had ever seen, but when I found out you weren't just beautiful on the outside, that's when I fell in love. I never acted because I was so deathly afraid of you pushing me away. April 22. I finally tried to make a move well too late. Maybe I didn't show it, but I was crushed. Thinking back, it was dumb in the first place, but I knew that before I pressed send. I told myself over and over from then on that I had to get over you, and I just never could. I kept finding a way to be totally lost in you. And that leads us up to the last few months. I thought something was reigniting, and then it was all gone. You "don't rly text anyone anymore", but you're constantly on snap. The breaking point is last night's TikTok that I felt like included me, making me realize my worst fear, you liked me too and I was too stupid to make a move on it. The shattering point was you not knowing it was my birthday.
Comment