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For the past year, I have been hinting to my parents about being a lesbian. They know, but they "don't know". I feel like it'd be awkward to officially come out to them. I don't know why I anticipate coming out being awkward, but I do. I know it's going to be hard for me because my mother thinks I'm doing this for attention. She doesn't take me seriously. I always wondered why people waited so long to come out, but now I know; no one sincerely believes them at a "young" age. She still thinks that I've always been boy crazy. When I was younger, I realized that the majority of the people around me, were heterosexual. Yes, I had gay uncles, but that was it. I wasn't just going to tell my mother about my girl crushes, so I continued talking about boys. I hate that she looks at me this way, like an attention hog. She thought that I wanted attention when I cut myself, she feels the same way about my sexuality. Maybe I'm overreacting, but she texted my aunt and told her these things. Being closeted is eating away at me, and feeling awkward about the subject with my family doesn't help. I frequently visit my school guidance counselor and he can help with most of the issues including my family, self harm, ect. But he is straight so he can't relate on a certain level. I recently spoke with one of my uncles and he gives legitimate advice when it comes to homosexuality; however, he lives in a different state and I can't talk to him often. My counselor supports me, but I live in a very conservative area. There isn't a LGBTQ+ support group... I don't feel awkward about my sexuality with my peers, but that won't stop harassment. Why is it that I feel strange about it with family, but not people at school? This is a question I attack myself with and I can't seem to get a reasonable answer. I desperately need advice.
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Coming out at any age can be a difficult experience. Many people feel that when they come out people won't accept them for who they are. It sounds like you are struggling with your family accepting that you are a lesbian. Sometimes it can be harder to come out to family, because their opinions usually matter the most. Sometimes we just go to the worst case scenario instead of allowing ourselves to actually think that their reactions could be positive or understanding. It sounds like your moms way of coping right now is to say that it is attention seeking, but she won't know that this is who you truly are until you tell her. They are your family and it sounds like the continue to love and support you while already "knowing/not knowing" You may not get the reaction you want or maybe you already can tell the reaction you are going to get. If you are looking for support there are a lot of online resources for LGBTQ+ http://www.glbthotline.org/ http://www.cdc.gov/lgbthealth/youth-resources.htm http://www.thetrevorproject.org/ As difficult as this decision is for you it sounds like holding this in is causing you more pain. I can't guarantee that your mom will be understanding but it does give her an opportunity to try. You have a lot of people supporting you and other family members can talk to her if she needs to understand this more. I hope this helps and if you want to talk more call 2NDFLOOR Youth Helpline 24/7 or text us daily 12-8PM at 888-222-2228.
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