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so I just had to go to the gyncogist yesterday bc I needed birth control and my bf has been pressuring me kind of to having sex. I thought the hole in my hymen was too small, as it looks really small. Smaller than a typical hymen when I googled it. It's not the half moon shape just a tiny hole. He said it didn't seem too small if I can get a tampon in. However I haven't put a tampon in since the 8th grade since I don't like them bc I am nervous that I will forget to take one out due to my busy schedule and pads work fine. I just tried putting a tampon in and it hurt a lot and felt rly wierd so I stopped. It also hurts a lot to put a finger in so I am convinced that it is too small. My gyno suggested stretching it, with a finger but it feels so painful and gross putting one in, probably bc the hole is so small. The gyno asked if he could see it but I said it's ok bc I was uncomfortable about it. He thought the size was fine but given the pain of the finger and tampon and the images online I think the hole is honestly too small. I should probably go back and see him too ask, and have him see it, however I don't have time and Its not exactly my favorite thing to do. My boyfriend has been asking me for sex for a month and a half, and I am probably going to wind up telling him no again bc my doc said that enless I stretch my hymen out a lot sex will be terribly painful and that is assuming I have a normal sized hole in my hymen which I am not convinced that I do. I am pretty confident that it's too small. I can hardly get the tip of my finger in. How will my bf react when I say I don't want to have sex bc it will hurt a ton due to my small hymen hole? And I am sick of these doctors appointments. I don't have time and this will end up being a 3rd visit. It's also really embarrassing going in. I thought I would run into an old teacher or friends mother since its in my hometown. I also had to go to one at my univeristy and I honestly felt really judged by them so I refuse to go back there. They didn't know much and they asked me all these personal questions and starting assuming that the reason I was having sex was due to issues with anxiety and due to my parents being divorced which they aren't. Anytime I see my bf and we start kissing he's all "can we do it now" "where are the condoms" it gets to be REALLY tiresome. And no I am not having sex bc of my parents or anxiety issues its bc my bf won't stop hassling me.
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I can understand feeling uncomfortable at these appointments, but eventually they are something that becomes more regular since most women see their gynecologist once a year for check ups. If you get nervous going to the one you currently go to ask your mom if you can find another one on your insurance. You can also switch to a female doctor if that would make you feel more comfortable. If you believe there is something wrong, as much as doctors appointments can feel inconvenient it's important to take care of yourself. If you have a break from school you could always try going then. Discuss this with your boyfriend, talk about your concerns, tell him that you aren't ready right now. If you don't want to have sex right now for whatever reason just talk to him about it. If you want to talk more call 2NDFLOOR Youth Helpline 24/7 or text us daily 4-8PM at 888-222-2228.
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