All my Issues...

[Lonely Beautiful Face 18]

Well basically I suck at math .... Its like my best is never good enough. I give my absolute best on a test and I get a 60%. I have no mental issues other than moderate depression. I have been through tutoring and I have talked to countless adults. I have taken up all help opportunities but nothing helps. So basically I am at the end of the road as a failure. I keep crying a lot because I am starting to hate myself more and more. I have cut before but nothing to deep or serious... at least nothing more serious than what a kid might get from running by a thorn bush. I have smoked before but I didn't continue in fear of addiction, cancer, legal issues and more stuff. All this isn't just because of math so don't think that. Lately all these girls strive to become skinny and its sad... I am 93 lbs. at 14 years old and not because I want to be. I wish I had more curves. Next time you wish to be skinny, think about how I felt when my biggest crush ever said directly to me " I would date you if you had more of a body, a little more meat on your bones, and you didn't look anorexic." I seriously wanted to die. I eat and eat but my metabolism is too fast. Its not even like I'm anorexic because I'm not. For some reason SO MANY strangers and teachers and friends call me GORGEOUS. I have had modeling agencies chase after me but I still don't feel pretty. A lot of boys chase after me... just not the kind I would like so basically i attract the bad attention. I am best friends with 2 self harmers and we all try to help eachother to feel better but sometimes they take away all my happiness. I can't stand this much longer. When I tend to get overwhelmed I just go on and flat out leave my house... I live near a creek so I usually go there to distract myself and enjoy the peace of lapping waters but then I get in MASSIVE trouble with my mom. Too much is going on for me too much worrying and too much sadness. Its like drowning and watching the lifegaurd flip over to even her tan. I'm sorry to rant this much but Thank You.

[2NDFLOOR]

Well basically I suck at math .... Its like my best is never good enough. I give my absolute best on a test and I get a 60%. I have no mental issues other than moderate depression. I have been through tutoring and I have talked to countless adults. I have taken up all help opportunities but nothing helps. So basically I am at the end of the road as a failure. I keep crying a lot because I am starting to hate myself more and more. I have cut before but nothing to deep or serious... at least nothing more serious than what a kid might get from running by a thorn bush. I have smoked before but I didn't continue in fear of addiction, cancer, legal issues and more stuff. All this isn't just because of math so don't think that. Lately all these girls strive to become skinny and its sad... I am 93 lbs. at 14 years old and not because I want to be. I wish I had more curves. Next time you wish to be skinny, think about how I felt when my biggest crush ever said directly to me " I would date you if you had more of a body, a little more meat on your bones, and you didn't look anorexic." I seriously wanted to die. I eat and eat but my metabolism is too fast. Its not even like I'm anorexic because I'm not. For some reason SO MANY strangers and teachers and friends call me GORGEOUS. I have had modeling agencies chase after me but I still don't feel pretty. A lot of boys chase after me... just not the kind I would like so basically i attract the bad attention. I am best friends with 2 self harmers and we all try to help eachother to feel better but sometimes they take away all my happiness. I can't stand this much longer. When I tend to get overwhelmed I just go on and flat out leave my house... I live near a creek so I usually go there to distract myself and enjoy the peace of lapping waters but then I get in MASSIVE trouble with my mom. Too much is going on for me too much worrying and too much sadness. Its like drowning and watching the lifegaurd flip over to even her tan. I'm sorry to rant this much but Thank You.

Hi lonely but beautiful face,
You are not ranting, you are not a failure and it is never the end of the road! Math is a subject that most of us have a hard time with, so do not feel bad because most of us have to work hard at it and like you can barely understand it, but remember that is the trying that really matters! Just keep doing your best which is the only thing you can do! There are others ways to address the pressure you feel when you feel like cutting, such as writing down your emotions in a journal, listening to music or what you are currently doing of sitting by the creek and enjoying the beauty of nature. In addition to reflecting by the creek. I can also suggest to be aware of the triggers that make you feel like cutting and find ways to stop or reduce these emotions.You are very lucky that you have a fast metabolism because so many people spend thousands of dollars trying to have the body that you describe you possess.Take advantage of the beauty you possess and use it to your advantage towards your future. We all have been blessed with gifts and yours is your beauty as others tell you. I want to leave you with this thought which is that the way you feel is in relation to what you say to yourself if its positive talk you will feel positive; if what you say to yourself is negative you will feel negative. Dear lonely but beautiful you can always call us at our helpline at 888-222-2228 if you fell like talking further. Good luck and please call us!