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she believes in me but I don't..

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  • she believes in me but I don't..

    I feel like I've annoyed my teacher. I don't know what to do.

    I've emailed her multiple times & she's replied but ahh. I sound like a whiney brat.
    It's about my research paper, she wanted me to submit it on Friday for 10 extra credit points . I later emailed her to check my paper & she said no, I don't need her to. She said I was silly not to hand it in bc I wasted 10 free points bc of self doubt & that I need to breathe & trust myself that it'll be okay.
    I'm so anxious that it's going to be terrible even though she keeps reassuring me it's not, I can't not worry.

    I emailed her this:
    But I do need you check it, please. I don't want it to be all wrong and sound terrible. I just want it to be okay, I don't know if my conclusion is even right. I don't even know if my whole paper is alright, I feel like it needs so much more work, its just so weak awful. It is just not good enough. My whole paper isn't strong enough. I don't know what to fix to make it better. I want to get it over with and hand it in but I just feel like I am not ready, I don't know what is holding me back. I am really worried about handing it in, I don't know how to not worry. Its so stressful. I can't do anything right, everything that I do is always wrong. I am not a strong writer at all, I fail miserably. All of my other essays were terrible I couldn't do it in the first try I always ended up rewriting them 2 or 3 times until I finally got it. I don't think I will ever become a better writer I know that I am always going to struggle. I just don't know how you and everybody else do it. I wish I could've handed it in today and could've been like everyone else but I messed that up. They all seemed to just have handed it in so easily and not overthink it. I just couldn't do it, I feel like I am just not ready to let go of it, I'm scared and I am nervous and I guess I shouldn't be but I don't know how to not be, I don't want to worry about it and stress so much, I want it to be ok but I don't know how to make it ok becasue its not. I know its not fine. The thing is I don't have any strengths to be recognized, I can't do anything well I always fail, I am a complete failure. Can you please read it.

    I'm sorry."

    & she replied:
    Please submit it on Tuesday with the rest of the class. If there is a problem, we'll address it. Even if you don't trust yourself, you need to trust me. Turn it in, and it will be ok.

    Please be sure to email your guidance counselor if you need help with your anxiety. Know, too, that I wouldn't advise you to turn in your paper, if you were not going to do well. So again, please prepare to submit it by Tuesday. We can talk about your concerns then if you like. Mary, I believe in you. Your paper is good. Please be easier on yourself!"

    Is she mad? Annoyed? I don't know what to think, I'm just anxious about it because it's a big part of my 4th quarter grade. I have so much anxiety but I feel weird emailing my counselor, I don't even know what to say in the email if I do.

    I'm also scared to go back to school Tuesday, is she going to be upset with me? I don't know how I feel. Please help me.

  • #2
    During fourth cycle many teachers have a pretty good idea about your abilities in their classes. It sounds like your teacher knows you are a good writer and may have wanted to give you the opportunity to give you to extra credit. However, you can still hand your paper in for full credit on Tuesday. It also sounded like your teacher attempted to reassure you to have confidence in yourself and not doubt your abilities. Just turn in your paper on Tuesday and if there is a problem you will be able to discuss with her at a later time. What may help you in the future and help relieve some anxiety about writing is meeting with the teacher and providing them with a draft. This way you can get some feedback and clarify any questions you may have about the rubric or requirements. In regards to your counselor, let the person know you are experiencing some anxiety or just say you need someone to talk to about school concerns. Request an appointment and when you meet be honest about how you are feeling. Anxiety can be very distressing and cause trouble focusing on the things you need to do. Your teacher was right in referring you to the school counselor to talk. He/she may be able to provide you with some coping strategies to help you relax and handle stress. You may also want to discuss with your parent or guardian and seek a private therapist to develop your skills in handling stress and anxiety. If you would like to talk more give 2NDFLOOR Youth Helpline a call anytime at 888-222-2228 or text us from 4-8PM daily at 908-280-0235.


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