Does it really count if I don't bleed?

[Guest]

So, I've struggled with self harm before in the past, and recently something happened that triggered the urge to cut myself again. For a long while I tried to fight it off, then I kind of lost it last night after getting into a fight with someone. There were a pair of scissors near me so I cut some skin on my leg, BUT, I only cut some skin, as in, I never cut deep enough to bleed. You can tell that there's a cut there and the skin is red there, but I never actually bled. Two of my friends seem to have differing opinions on this though. One friend is telling me to stop because it's unhealthy, but one of my other friends is telling me if it makes me feel better, so long as I don't bleed, I can cut myself to release emotion. I don't exactly know who I'm supposed to listen to though. I'm not even sure you could really call it cutting because I don't bleed. I don't really know how to explain it because technically I'm cutting the skin, but at the same time, when someone says they cut themselves, it usually means they're bleeding. Honestly, I can't imagine what I'm doing causing much damage anyways. I've done worse to myself. I'm just wondering if it's okay for me to do this.

[2NDFLOOR]

I'm really glad you reached out for some support, as it sounds like you've been doing the best you can to cope with very difficult feelings. First, I want to commend you on your efforts to cope differently than you have in the past. It takes strength and courage to deal with our emotions in healthier ways, as it's not always easy. It's also awesome that you're able to talk to your friends about what you're experiencing, as that in itself is a healthy way to cope. In regards to your question (and to get a bit technical) any act of intentionally injuring your bodily tissue falls under self-harm. So although you may not be causing the same type of damage as before, this still qualifies as self-harm. This can be a very slippery slope, as it's very easy for this "lesser" form of self-harm to become a pattern and gradually increase in severity (that is, get worse and do more damage to your body).

It sounds like you're really motivated to try new ways of coping, which is the first step to helping yourself! You're already coping in a healthy way by talking to your friends, so that's something you can feel proud of. Many people find that engaging in a creative hobby, such as drawing/coloring, playing music, or journaling, can be a healthy and effective outlet for their difficult emotions. Even exercise or yoga can be a useful release for tough feelings. Participating in therapy or counseling is another effective way to gain the skills to recognize painful emotions when they're happening and learn more beneficial strategies to deal with them. For more information and resources about healthier coping outside of self-harm, you can check out http://sioutreach.org/. If you need further support with fighting through an urge to self-harm you can also reach out to us anytime you need, as we're available to talk or text 24/7 at 888-222-2228. Again, you were brave and did an amazing job asking for help just now! Thank you for reaching out to 2NDFLOOR Youth Helpline!