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I am so insecure about my body. I am fat. i go days without eating. Not for a diet but because my mind is mean and tells me that it is better for me and for everyone if i just stop eating and that maybe i will lose weight. i spend all my time just exercising and not eating. I hide behind my own body. There is a skinny person hiding inside me wanting to come out but for some reason no matter how hard i try i cant loose weight. I never thought about my weight until middle school when all my friends were really skinny and decided that they were fat and then they stopped eating so i decided that it was normal to stop eating and it felt normal. Now i go days without eating and its just natural. My parents think i eat but i just throw out the food they gave me without them knowing.
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It's understandable to feel like you need to be a certain size with all the false images you see on T.V. but, they are not real life body sizes. It is not safe to starve yourself because your body needs fuel to run or it will shut down! Actually, the less you eat the more your body can store fat because it doesn't know when it's going to get fed again. Listen, instead of not eating, try to exercise or join recreational activities because as long as you are exercising and eating healthy you can maintain your body weight. Try to reach out to a guidance counselor to confide in and even go see a nutritionist, so you can have all the knowledge you need to have a healthy weight. Here is the National Eating Disorder Association website and number www.nationaleatingdisorders.org / (800) 931-2237. Call them if you need to talk or call 2NDFLOOR anytime @ 888-222-2228.
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