Why do I feel this way?

[Guest]

The idea of sex just repulses me -- to the extent it makes me cry, rage, and angers me. Like I have OCD, and I can't stop thinking about gross details. Like my brain stays stuck and fixated on certain images when I accidently see something on social media, or I hear of a dirty reference. How certain sex acts occur, someone seeing your places, the smell, the fluid. Some positions are legit close to the place you excrete feces, and people want access to that? THat's disgusting. Makes me a bit curious as to -- well how?? And I get frustated when I keep wanting to know "how" as wierd as that sounds. It's too kinky to be love, and that's what creates innocent children? Im a muslim conservative young lady, (20), I think a lot stems from sex being linked to shame before marriage, and since I am not married, it's all I think about. And when I know married couples do it, it surprises me as to how they are doing the "gross things" adults shame me if I were to break the moral code. Do you see my frustation? Like my mom always says "ew gross, that's disgusting" regard anything sexual, like when we saw a shirt with a kinky quote -- yet she be doing that behind closed doors. It's like paradoxically. LIke if its healthy and all, yet its been made to be "gross". This is a huge thing for me to share, so I'd appreciate an ultra-compassionate response, so I don't feel ughh about it. Thank you ))

[2NDFLOOR]

Hey there, I am glad you reach out! It is understandable how this can seem a bit hypocritical, media versus actual relations but that is just it. Media is known to blow things out of proportion and make the extreme seem to be the norm but most of what actually happens is not the case. Especially when it comes to sex. Sex does not have to be anything more than either party is comfortable with. It is also something that should stay between the two parties. Which is why your mom may have seen the reference or quote and felt it was disgusting. It may have been outside of her comfort zone to refer to sex in casual conversation. Sex is something that is naturally programed in humans as a want which is necessary in order to keep the human population growing. Sometimes want may not be there and that is okay. However if it is something that you feel should be addressed then you could always consider speaking with a counselor to address your specific concerns and see how you can overcome this level of disgust. If you would like to talk about this or anything else further please feel free to reach out at 2NDFLOOR any time 24/7 via text or call at 1(888) 222-2228.

[Guest]

Hi, I understand your frustration, as it does seem like a paradox. I agree with the moderator, that sex in general conversation can disgust people, but when it's in private they feel safe with it. I'm glad you reached out, and I hope these feelings your having stop bothering you!