I wish I had one of my teachers/counselors as caretakers

[Guest]

I struggle with a lot of personal issues, and sometimes, self-harm arises, though I've always kept it discreet and so that it doesn't slippery slope. My parents have causes me great deal of trauma in my younger age, and they displayed poor boundaries, some emotionally abusive behaviors -- but none of that actually is enough to make them considered "abusive" and still have the right as parents. Anyways, I know that when you tend to fall of track and have issues like self-harm, your family should be or are meant to be your safe place to fall and are given the role to watch you and guide. But one thing that fuels my hopelessness that causes ME TO WANT TO HURT MYSELF IN THE FIRST PLACE, is that I don't have parents who are reliable or make me feel safe and nothing has changed and no therapy will change them. I've wished that my teachers and counselors (and again its hypothetical) are the ones to be given the role given that they knew a lot about these behaviors, and I would feel so safe with them -- safe enough to be vulernable and be nurtured. It upset me that if things get worse, I'm 19 right now, my parents might have to find out to keep an eye out on me not by my choice. I wish they can magically be the one to be given the role more than just teachers/counselors, but because they truly care or that because they choose to take my under their wings.

[2NDFLOOR]

Sorry to hear that you are struggling with this issue, it sounds like you are really having a hard time and think that someone else in your life would bring about some positive changes. First let me say that self harm isn't the solution to your problem, in fact, even though it may temporarily help to relieve some of your pain, it really only makes things worse in the long run. Find some positive ways to deal with your emotions so you can cut out the self harm. Check out this webpage to learn more about it https://www.helpguide.org/articles/a...-self-harm.htm.
Secondly, if you feel your parents are lacking boundaries, maybe you can start the process of setting up your own boundaries. At 19, maybe you can begin starting to plan moving away from them, this way you can control how much you see them and also if they come to your own place, if they begin saying things you don't approve of you can request they either stop or leave. That is a difficult answer since money may be an issue, but it's something to work toward and may give you hope for the future since you seem pretty sure they aren't going to change themselves. Call or text us anytime to discuss this further at 888-222-2228.

[Guest]

I appreciate your response. The problem isn't moving away, that's easy. It's about who will take the role when I'm going through these hard times to offer their care and nurture that your family is meant to give you.

[2NDFLOOR]

I’m sure it’s tough to not feel the nurturing feelings from family but sometimes that’s how it is. Yes it’s sad and yes it’s hurtful but take what you get out of It and turn that into your strength and empower yourself. You are an adult and you can give yourself that self care and self love so do what is good for you., make small goals. Again, it’s easier said then done but you are only in control of how you react To your parents and you can’t change someone else’s behavior. Hold on to any type of support you get and surround yourself with good people. I hope this helps you some and if you want to talk about this or anything please text or call 2NDFLOOR at 888-222-2228.