Moving Out

[Guest]

Several months ago, I left my parents' home to live on the couch of a relative (with not a lot of space or privacy - not like I had much of either with my parents) so I could eventually be able to find an apartment of my own and live independently. My reasons for doing this are to escape the tension between me and certain family members (one of them physically assaulted me) and to create a safe place to transition and be queer (I've come out to nobody and don't plan to until I no longer rely on my family financially).

Since then, I've done everything to try and get a job and save up for an apartment. I suffer from insomnia, anxiety, and depression and this has impacted my sleeping habits and the types of jobs I can do. I have trouble focusing and have procrastinated on important things like job searching. I've tried looking into vouchers and welfare services to no avail. Even though I've managed to get myself together and am now working vigorously to improve my situation, my stress continues to build every day with the fear that I may never leave. My thoughts are getting darker and I'm getting more desperate. My worsening gender dysphoria (almost every one in my life still calls me by my former name and uses the wrong pronouns to address me) doesn't help either.

At this moment, I'm still unemployed and my current savings are running low. How can I be patient without this increasing anxiety or falling into a depression?

[2NDFLOOR]

It sounds like there is a lot of pressure on you to move forward quickly. There are a couple of things that we could recommend but most importantly would be to seek a professional counselor to work with routinely to help with the insomnia, anxiety and depression. In order to work on building yourself you must address the core of the trouble first before it overwhelms you. Besides it would also be nice to have a person to confide in about your sexuality, past trauma and the "darkness" you are experiencing. As for moving forward, have you ever considered where you would like to see yourself in 5 years? What job would you have, where would you live, etc.? Take that vision of yourself and decide what the first step is towards getting there. Example: if you see yourself as a teacher in 5 years, maybe look into a job where you can work with kids (day care, babysitting, substitute teaching, etc.), and/or look into your local community college for courses you could take to get there. This could be an income source that will not only provide income for the moment, but an opportunity to lead to something more in the future. Which will also provide you the confidence of moving forward in some kind of direction. If you wish to talk more about this or anything else please contact 2NDFLOOR via text/call at 1(888)222-2228. We are available 24/7.