Therapy

[Guest]

I have always struggled with opening up & talking to people along with trusting them. I have a counselor in school that I see weekly. I have been seeing her for 3 years now, but I still feel like i can't tell her everything. I wish I could easily just tell her what's going on but I can't. I feel like I am wasting her time & even my time because there's time where we sit in silence because I don't want to to talk or it is hard for me. She usually asks the questions & brings up the topics we talk about. But lately I have been having a hard time with things. There is a lot going on at home & school is stressful & overwhelming. I have been turning to self-harming & restriction to deal with all of the stress & anxiety because it is through the roof. I have suicidal thoughts, but no intent to act on them because I am too scared. I haven't told my counselor about any of it because I don't know how to tell her, is it even worth telling her? And if I do tell her, I am worried about her reaction & what she is going to do. I have been hospitalized a few times in the past years & I don't want to be again. It is my worst fear.

[2NDFLOOR]

Unfortunately, therapy where you cannot open up and be honest about the things you are actually going through isn't going to be 100% effective for you. You need to be able to be honest with all the things you are feeling and feel comfortable discussing them. Maybe aside from your school therapist (if you feel she is helping) you could talk to your parents about speaking to a mental health professional outside of school so maybe you feel more comfortable since you don't have to see each other all the time. But in all honesty, things like self-harm and suicidal thoughts are things that really need to be able to be addressed in therapy so they don't get worse. And even though you said you aren't going to act on your thoughts, if that ever should change reach out the the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255 or the NJ Hopeline at 855-654-6735 to talk to someone about what you're going through. Call or text us anytime at 888-222-2228.