Forgiveness...

[Unregistered]

Hello second floor,
I have been very confused lately and have many questions... so first of all, I had been dating this guy for more than a year, we broke up 3 months ago because I found out he cheated on me. Since then I had not heard from him until yesterday. Yet everyday I think about him and since everyone hates him for what he did to me, it's sad how I don't even have that strong strong hate... (First of all I would like to say that we had a long distance relationship but we saw each other every year). So yesterday he wrote to me and said so many things like: I miss you, I am such and idiot for I did, I regret doing it, she is not the one for me and what me and the other girl had was not true love, I think about u every day.... and I love u... So basically he wrote a HUGE message saying these things. My parents hate him for what he did to me. But, after what he wrote to me I don't know what to do. One thing is for sure, WE ARE NEVER GETTING BACK TOGETHER. I don't mind forgiving him... even though I am still mad and suffering, I am a forgiving person. Should I give him a second chance and be his friend. I still have feeling for him because he gave me the times of my life, but at the same time he cheated on me... should I trust him... please help, what should I do? and if anyone out there has any advice and has experienced stuff like this, please help, thank you so much

[2NDFLOOR]

The decision to talk to someone again is completely up to you. You can get why your family doesn't like him because he hurt you and they just want to protect you from that pain. If you are ready to forgive and move on then good for you. Why don't you make a pros and cons list, pros for talking to him again and the cons. Trust is a hard thing to regain once it is broken, but that does not mean that it can't be rebuilt. Again, take some time and think about what is best for you. Just do what will make you happy in the end! I hope this helps and if you want to talk more call 2NDFLOOR Youth Helpline 24/7 or text us daily 4-8PM at 888-222-2228.

[Unregistered]

I understand

Although we have never met, I too have been cheated on and faced with the decision of whether or not to forgive the person that caused me so much pain. I think in this situation it is important to think about how you will feel if you choose to forgive him and how you will feel if you decide it's better to not have him in your life. You are allowed to think about yourself without considering what's best for your parents or your ex. If you forgive him, will you feel a weight lifted off your shoulders? Will you be able to take the small steps forward to rebuilding trust without giving him the opportunity to hurt you again? Or will you remain angry and have allowed someone who hurt you back into your life? If you decide not to forgive him that is okay! He hurt you and sometimes people do not deserve a second chance. Also, just because you might choose not to forgive him right now does not mean in the future you won't be able to take those baby steps forward. If you do choose to forgive him and move forward that's okay too! Your parents and friends were not the ones in the relationship so it is hard for them to understand how difficult this situation is. Also, if you forgive him and the friendship ends up being toxic, you have the power to end the friendship. Nothing is permanents so try to think about what is best for you at this point in your life. I just want to make sure you know you are not alone! I, along with many others, have been cheated on and faced with this challenging decision. Whatever you decide, make sure it is the best decision for YOU! I wish you all the best!