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Thought of Hurting Myself
First of all I will never attempt suicide or self harm even though I did scratch my right arm because I got so angry. I had the thought of taking a knife and cutting my arm. But I didn't do it and will never do it. I just had the thought because I got so angry from refusing to clean up dog vomit so since I refused my grandma told me to clean up the dinner table and load and unload the dishwasher and having to do that got me mad which is quite ridiculous but oh well. I will record the thought of hurting myself and how in my therapy journal. Now since I calmed down I feel bad for getting so mad and thinking of self harm.
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Sometimes everyday struggles can get really overwhelming, causing us to get angry or feel upset. It sounds like you have a great system in place for when you start having thoughts of hurting yourself. Using a therapy journal is such a helpful tool. You can even try taking deep breaths or doing yoga. Also, scratching your arm is a form of self-injury. There are more positive ways to cope with feeling angry. Please reach out to someone that you trust for help with that. You may even find it helpful to talk to your grandma, and let her know what things bother you or make you angry. She may just not realize the effect that it has on you. Please call 2NDFLOOR anytime to talk at 888-222-2228.
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