I'm a dissapointment to everyone. my friends and family turned against me

[Unregistered]

Hi. I have cut before and I get so close to doing it again these past few nights. My best friend (S) has another best friend (A) who I'm extremely jealous of because she shows so much favoritism to her over me. She lives a state away from us though. Anyway, this week the 3 of us went to an amusement park and the whole day A was running from ride to ride because she thought by doing that the lines would be shorter. Well S chases after her like a puppy dog and I have no choice but to run with them and I was wearing flip flops. Well I have diabetes and its bad for my feet. I yelled several times "guys stop running, my feet hurt" but they ignored me. (I have black blisters on my feet now) After we got off this one ride they both ran away from and I tried running but my feet hurt so bad, I couldn't keep up. Well they got lost in the distance so I called them and they said they didn't feel like coming back for me so instead they went on a ride. I waited 2 and a half hours for them but they kept going on rides, so I asked my mom to pick me up and left. My mom was furious and said I wasn't allowed to hang out with her ever again. I am mad at her for doing this to me but she's my best friend and I can't picture not being friends. She's been there for me for 4 years and knows everything about me. But she got me so mad and upset. Now she's telling people lies and saying I called her a b**ch because she didn't follow me and so I left which isn't true but everyone loves her so they're taking her side and everyone's turning against me. So I was like okay well at least I have my family. Well tonight my 2 brothers broke my phone because they were picking on me (which they do constantly and I always try to tell them to please stop because it hurts my feeling but they think its funny if I'm upset and always make fun of me for cutting) but I finally stood up for myself and told them that they really need to stop and that if they didn't I was going to flip but they kept going so my anger that has been building up for months and years finally got control over me and so I called them fat and ugly which I knew was wrong of me but its not nearly as bad what they say to me and they honestly deserved it but anyway, they broke my phone.. I tried complaining to my mom about it but she always takes their side and said "they're older, show them some respect!" so all my friends turned against me and my family is always criticizing me, I want to cut or kill myself so I can finally be happy. I just don't know what to do anymore, I'm so alone. please help (I'm so sorry this is so long, I just had a lot to get off my chest)

[2NDFLOOR]

Regardless of the problems and stress that are facing, self-injury is never the right way to handle it. This includes cutting, suicide, burning, etc. This sounds like such a tough position to be in. It is so hard to feel hurt by a close friend, and just as hard to feel left out. Is it possible that some of this incident was caused by a misunderstanding? Perhaps your friends just didn't realize the impact that the diabetes has on you and how upset you are over all of this. It may be helpful to try talking to them about it. Even if you don't want to continue a friendship, it may give some closure to the situation. Next, the situation with your brothers seems really hurtful. Nobody deserves to be treated poorly. It may be helpful to reach out to an adult that you trust for support, like your parents, relatives, teacher, or guidance counselor. If you are feeling suicidal, please call 911, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-TALK, or 2NDFLOOR at 888-222-2228 to talk anytime!