Over thinking

[Unregistered]

So...It's almost been a whole year since the first time I went to in patient...
And I just...I went through a lot of stuff last year...I keep having flashbacks and I can't stop thinking about everything... But the worst part is...I miss it all...I miss all of it...I miss shutting everyone out...I miss being by myself...I miss my small group of friends that I had...(none of us talk anymore)... And I miss how we all used to be...I missed having my mom as my best friend... Not my legit mom...I miss isolating myself...I miss hurting myself sometimes...I miss the pain...I miss feeling ashamed...I miss how I used to get scared that someone in my family would see my cuts...I miss seeing the disappointed looks on my friend's faces when they found out I did it again...I miss not eating for days...I miss my old school.. But now I'm stuck at some dumb ass behavioral school...and I don't act out...I don't have behavioral issues...when I got interviewed... They told us it was a therapeutic school...cuz my parents didn't want me to attend the highschool I live by...they didn't think I would be able to handle it...or that I was ready...because I have emotional issues... And I'm sorry that I'm all over the place...I just...I have a lot going on...as usual....
And I tried doing the texting thing...but it said it wasn't available or something...

[2NDFLOOR]

Thank you for reaching out to 2NDFLOOR. If you want to use our texting line it is available 4PM-8PM every day, that might have been why it wasn't available when you tried to use it. At your new school do you ever talk to a counselor about missing your life when you were hurting yourself and isolating yourself? What is it about this time that you missed? Did you miss people worrying about you? Or do you miss how self harm made you feel? When you have these thoughts do you think about how you want to get better? Do you miss not being in a regular school? Think about all these questions, ask yourself what's happening right now that's making you miss that lifestyle. Would you be better going back to a time when you harmed yourself and everyone was worried about you? Think about how you were last year, how that part of your life helped you or hurt you. Try talking to someone at your school or even your mom about the way that you're feeling. You don't have to apologize we want to help you. I may have asked a lot of questions, but try to take it all in, think about it, and if you want to talk more please don't hesitate to respond. You can also call 2NDFLOOR Youth Helpline 24.7 or text us daily as I mentioned 4-8PM at 888-222-2228